Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Overwhelmed- Most people are it seems

It seems lately that most people are just barely hanging on, financially, mentally and physically. To be one of the few standing okay with my wife sometimes is a little difficult but we appear to be a bastion of strength in all ways in these times for our children and friends. This is getting harder each day. The transitions of death, near death, emotional distress and financial distress are hard to bear for us to watch everyone it seems go through but somehow being mature adults we seem to manage.

I don't think I remember a time in my 60 years when so many things were changing at once, or when so many people were dying at once(or when so many species were extincting at once). It makes my head spin trying to regain balance from it all. Not since World War II have things been this physically difficult on earth as they are now worldwide.

I can remember the 1960s and 1970s with all the radical social change that tore our country apart(America). I'm not really sure if it has recovered yet from the 60s and 70s or from
the Great Depression and World War II for that matter. And then just when it started to settle down and begin to make some sense there was AIDS that screwed up most of the social progress of the 1960s and 1970s during the 1980s. So at every point being a human has been twisted and convoluted with changes and craziness.

But now, Global warming, Islamic Jihad, the falling dollar, millions worldwide starving to death and no one seeming to know what to do, Cyclones and earthquakes killing hundreds of thousands of people in the last 4 years(maybe 500,000 total or more in 5 years), the craziness of the never ending Subprime meltdown, the emergence of China and India as economic powerhouses(this might be good for India and China) but I don't know yet for the rest of the world).

Then on a personal note 3 people close to me are dealing with senile dementia and one died, an Aunt in the past week, one of my sons closest friends just got married last fall and (surprise) just had to have all his lower intestines removed at age 29 and may or may not live, etc. etc. etc.

However, on a good note my sons other best friend just finished a documentary about jogging on the Great wall of China during a marathon there. He left the day of the earthquake and I talked to him yesterday from somewhere in California. He was walking on air. My son is elated and turning 34 today because he and his 21 year old girlfriend have been been accepted into the same medical school program they are transferring to. So they are happy that they will be together and study together there.

The following will be a metaphysical attempt to try to make some sense of the overwhelm. Don't expect what I'm going to say now to be literally always true but only a process of trying to make sense of it all through metaphysical free association.

I walked out my door with my dogs today and drove a mile to one of my favorite paths in our large green belt through a pine and oak forest with streams and ferns. As we walked I realized that I had left my cellphone charging. It made me think that how strange that we have become so dependant on cell phones for all types of communiction in just 20 years. This means that my first 40 years there was no such thing except large walkie-talkies and radiotelephones for the very few.

As I walked along I felt the warm sun on my face and felt the now familiar feeling of communion and communication with all the life around me on the beautiful beautiful trail. I started to think back on when I first felt Earth as a lover or as a wife. I think it must have begun in childhood. So from this real experience of earth as a person I have always deeply loved came the realization at about 22 that I was a natural shaman. I have read about Merlin's experiences of Gaia(mother earth) and now have written about such experiences myself on occasion. I know many worldwide feel as I do and experience the two way communication with all plants and animals and even people on a cellular level like I do. So even if there is no verbal communication most realy important communication between beings isn't verbal, I find. Verbal communication is mostly about being polite and reassuring others you won't hurt them I find. Maybe I especially need to assure people of this because I am 6 feet 4 1/2 inches tall and my aura is usually pretty intense so maybe I need to assure people more than most do.

However, at 60 I hope people view me in more kindly ways as less take my height and physicality as a threat. However, it has been very useful to be this big in travelling all around the world. No one has been foolish enough to physically attack me in all my travels. However, the East Indian gypsy lady who grabbed my thigh on a main street of New Delhi I felt fairly threatened by until I gave her some money to just go away. One doesn't usually want some strange older woman to get on her knees and grab ones thigh with thousands and thousands of people walking by and watching.

I realized that since I had a conversation with my aunt recently passed over that she had been trying to converse with me but I was just too overwhelmed until a few moments yesterday to have a useful conversation with her. I realized I needed to talk to her more yesterday to do what I could to help her with her transition to the next world.
Somehow, walking with my dogs in the morning sunlight on this beautiful day I knew would help.

No comments: