Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Musical Changes

I suppose I could have become a professional singer and musician. However, for me, music has always been a spiritual thing and religious thing and so playing for money in a smoke filled room always seemed wrong to me, especially when I was young.

My 5 years older cousin took both piano lessons and violin lessons as far back as I can remember.(Back to when I moved to the Tujunga and the Glendale, California area when I was 6). Since I revered my older cousin(except when he shot me in the face with a machine gun squirt gun and made my eyes hurt and I cried at age 5). But then I had both parents and his father had left his mother before this. So, looking back I can understand why he was jealous of me.(My parents stayed together from 2 years before my birth until one of them died).

Anyway, I followed in my cousins footsteps in regard to music. At 8 I started piano lessons and at 9 years of age I started violyn lessons in my public grade school in Glendale at Horace Mann Grade school in 1957. Mr. Gruss' rendition of "A one eyed one horned flying purple people eater" made me laugh and got me to rent a violin and start playing with the grade school band until I made all city orchestra.(I still have a photo of all of us playing at a concert at Hoover High School today next to my Contractors license and High School diploma.) Though I have about 8 years of college under my belt now majoring in order in: Computer Science, philosophy, Social Science, Psychology and Anthropology I never pushed through to get a degree. The most likely degree would have been in psychology because in my early twenties I was on my way to becoming a psychologist when I got married and had a baby with my wife and realized it was either the degree or stay married and raise my son. Though my wife had a 170 IQ, she had had an emotionally troubled life and even with quitting college for her, we only lasted 4 years before I was left only with my son to raise alone. I can still remember how beautiful she was and how much she was at the time the ideal California Cosmic I had ever met. She had been through a lot more difficulties than I could understand in my twenties then though. I was just in love and you can't really tell anything to someone that in love(even though my father tried). Now I've been through the same kind of experience with my son when he married a girl from Brazil. (He's now divorced after about 4 years of marriage with no children thank God.)

Anyway, I raised my son from age 3 and have been married twice since(15 years each) and I'm still with my third wife(likely for life as we are very well matched as friends and (war buddies)(my divorce and her losing both her parents one 9 years ago one this year) and I losing my last 15 year marriage 15 years ago and my mother this year.

Anyway, by age 12 I was a very good pianist and singer from 4 years of playing piano and singing for anyone who wanted to listen to me play or sing(family friends, relatives), and finally playing piano and organ for our church. As I got further into my teens one of my best friends went professional for money and girls with his rock band. Though we both jammed a lot with singing guitars, flutes and piano and keyboards we never went professional together outside of playing at a few parties and for interested girls who liked our style. So, I never chose to become a professional. Though I tend to be a good actor I don't like playing in public as much. I don't like the pressure and don't have the type of ego that enjoys that sort of thing. I prefer a few close friends and a good woman to live with and having kids. That's what I like and that doesn't really go along with being a professional musician.

My friend is still a professional musician and has his own recording company and travels the world playing in concerts that he can write off all the expenses of as a business expense but he never married(although he has had the same girlfriend for 15 years now).

So, all in all I'm glad I made the decision never to become a professional musician because I'm just not the right personality type to have been happy with that choice like my friend has been.

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