Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I'm going to Survive no matter What

I think the single attitude that allowed me to survive my life here to age 64 was the attitude that, "I'm going to survive no matter what!" This attitude was much more common and accepted in the 1950s and before than it is today.

My cousins daughter is an incredibly brilliant lawyer like him. One day she said to me, "Do you think I'm crazy?" I looked at her because I couldn't even imagine any of my relatives even worrying about this question at all when I was growing up. So, to me, the answer was laughable. However, because she had gotten diabetes in her life during her teens I think I understood what her experience of life was because of constantly shifting blood sugar levels. So, I finally said to her, "No one that I grew up with would ever ask such a question." It didn't really matter if people in families were crazy or not, they were going to survive anything whatever it took. Because the stresses of the Great Depression and World War II, the Viet Nam War and everything else we have been through like the Cold War has made everyone a little bit nuts in a Post Traumatic Stress disorder kind of way in order to survive all that. Whether anyone was crazy or not was never the point. The point has always been, "Can we survive whatever is going on in our lives?"

So, once again what was always important to members of my family was sort of a very pioneering attitude, "Lead, Follow, or get out of the way before I knock you down!" This was what the pioneering spirit always was. Growing up almost everyone was like this and life could get scary very quickly being surrounded with people like this everywhere who were almost never politically correct. When I grew up "NO one was politically correct." This is the important thing to understand about life before the late 1960s.

People in the 1950s and early 1960s likely would laugh at people today who are politically correct today. Political correctness came about as a way to reduce murders and killings between countries and races and ethnic groups worldwide. However, it is important to realize that political correctness is a diplomatic political fiction of politeness. To actually think it is real in an ultimate sense is dangerous. It is only a diplomatic political fiction of politeness nothing more. When people are naive enough to think it real in some sections of the world even in parts of the United States often people don't survive their naivite.

So, when I look at my life I realize "I'm going to survive no matter what!" was the attitude that always worked for me. Was I able to maintain this angry attitude every day of my life? NO. I don't think you will either. But when people around me angered me because of their cruelty or ignorance I could either walk away or secretly saying to myself, "I'm going to survive no matter what and no matter what it takes!" This is the part of the pioneer spirit that takes each one of us to old age if possible.

When I look back at my life the constructive use of anger has helped me more than almost anything else when things got bad.

What is the constructive use of anger. When one is raging that usually isn't useful because when you are raging usually you are nearly out of control or completely out of control. But, if you realize young enough that the constructive use of your anger will take you to success in life, you start to control your anger and only direct it in useful ways. For example, if you let your anger go and people get harmed, then likely you will be harmed and your life might end soon or you could be maimed.

But if you control your anger and say to yourself, "Hey. I need to get away from these crazy people. I need to go take a walk on the beach or in the forest and get away from people that piss me off for awhile."

So, when you walk away from a bad situation often you can figure out by using your anger and focusing your mind to figure out what you need to do. Anger isn't bad as long as you are in control of it. If you can use your anger to focus your mind you can then often figure out a better way forward. This has saved my life countless times while growing up through my teens and 20s and even before. It also saves ones life when things aren't going well in business or relationship or with your kids or parents or friends. Take the time to "Cool Down" and to "Mobilize" your anger to focus your mind to create a solution. If you realize that your anger is "Your Best Friend" as long as you don't go out of control of it, then you realize that anger is your best friend in creating a success in your life as well.

Sometimes, knowing what you refuse to do creates what will make you a success in a job or business or in a  relationship. Anger isn't your enemy if you can control it and focus your anger to create a positive outcome. Rage isn't useful but controlled anger might give you success in your life if you are compassionate enough to yourself and those around you while you are becoming a success in your life.

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