My experience "most of the time" since may 1999 has been this. It hasn't been perfect but it has been a life of grace mostly since May 1999. The one year that was an exception was 2015 from March until Christmas when I was dealing with first a burst appendix and then the PTSD from the experience and then a month of sleep deprivation and then not believing really the rest of the year that I was going to stay alive. But, by Christmas I was over that and back to living in Heaven on earth most of the time.
Was my life always like this?
Far from it. From ages 21 to 25 It took everything for me to stay alive and not to commit suicide. If I had had my wish and didn't want to harm my parents, my relatives and my friends I would have been gone. I was in no way prepared to face what I had to then in my life. Everything I had planned for my life wasn't going to happen so I saw no reason to stay alive.
But, then again as soon as my son was born when I was 26 I couldn't worry about my selfish needs anymore which made my 30s really enjoyable.
I think what causes most young people to self destruct and be gone is "Unrealistic Expectations".
When your dreams are impossible and everyone tells you you can do anything, sometimes you can't. And then what do you do?
Do you choose to stay alive through this?
I chose to stay alive at the time not for myself but only because of my parents, my relatives and my friends. The last thing I wanted to do was to stay alive at the time.
But then there is my 30s (from age 32 to age 37) which was the happiest time of my life up until then when I built an A-Frame on 2 1/2 acres of land my wife and I bought and home schooled my children.
My 40s were wonderful and terrible at the same time so bittersweet but still survivable and ever since I got over my heart virus in May 1999 my life has most of the time been heaven. So, it is possible to live in Heaven on earth. But, you have to work at it to create a good life for yourselves.
But, here's the strange thing. Coming so close to suicide and still staying alive gave me the strength to be a stronger person emotionally than most people I have ever met. It also was one of the best experiences in that I had to give up pride and to realize Pride is a killer, and likely kills more people than anything else in the end.
Once I gave up pride I could begin to live in God's Grace. I could begin to live in God's heavens on earth.
Grace and humility are the key to living in heaven on earth. You value everyone in a compassionate way. You don't think you are better than everyone else because of the suffering you have been through trying to stay alive.
And at that point you are living in one of God's heavens on earth.
By God's Grace
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