Surviving Testosterone

Sometimes I wonder how any boy survives into manhood. It's quite different now than when I grew up.Then it was all fists and knives because guns were only for warfare and hunting and full on criminals and police. If you were anything else, using a gun would dishonor you as a man or a boy. Not using a gun to settle disputes was always the honorable thing to do when I was a boy and young man. However, switchblades in a black boot was very common and there were many fights that turned to knives when I grew up. Luckily, I never carried a switchblade or was cut badly. I was one of the lucky ones.

I can remember an older boy taking a knife to my throat and as he cut me a little told me he planned to cut my head off. Though this might be horrifying to you, this was probably one of the most useful experiences in my entire life. From this, I learned that if you keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, often you come out on top. From this I learned to be calm and rational. The boy who did this to me likely didn't survive ten years more. But I'm still alive here at 60. I also learned from this, "Don't do anything you can't live with or you won't".

I was thinking last night how I felt about my life. I thought I felt about like a beaten into submission German Shepard dog. In other words pissed off, but under control.
I think at core it is important to see ourselves as conditioned animals. Civilization is not a natural state of being, it is essentially unnatural. But without it, where would be all be? Likely dead.