The Hibernating Bear

I Am or have been until recently that Hibernating Bear. After almost one month of 82 to 97 degree days in the mountains and lakes around Mt. Shasta we came home to the northern California Coast to the foggiest drizzliest from July 26th to now summer that I can presently remember. I found myself just being so depressed at no sun that I would sleep 12 or more hours a day and feel very depressed about the whole thing. I felt really stupid in some ways feeling this way especially with so many not able to breathe and dying by the hundreds and thousands in Moscow around that area and all the many flood victims in Pakistan in their hundred year floods on the Indus River, or people in the Southern parts of the U.S. that were dying from the heat around 118 degrees heat index. But still I found I just couldn't shake my depression of cloudy days. Even when I went over to hang out with some Redwoods that just seemed so enlightened and happy compared to me I found I actually felt jealous that the Redwoods were so happy and enlightened about how much they and I were protected by all the fog and drizzle from the Sun and Cosmic rays and stuff. However, finally my son came home from southern California for a college break a few days ago and finally I have shaken the doldrums and lo and behold we were traveling around visiting parks within 100 miles of us and today visited Point Lobos State Park. We walked in and gave the required 1 dollar donation from walk ins now and walked over to Whaler's cove and to the East of Whaler's Cove there is a trail that we like that goes into an Eastern even smaller Sub-cove of Whaler's Cove that had fur seals playing in the seaweed there. My son remarked how beautiful it was and what "A Gift" it is just to be alive on such an incredibly beautiful day. "Yeah", I thought finally the sun is coming out and I feel like I'm climbing out of the coffin of the last two weeks of weather since coming back from our mountain vacation.

During the last two weeks I realized that it wasn't really the weather that got me but realizing not just mentally but physically and emotionally as well that I really wasn't the person I used to be from zero to 40 years of age. After all, I'm 62 now and most of the people I knew and loved before age 40 are dead or dying now, unless they are my kids or peers and many of my peers are now dead or dying too.

So, finding a way to think about myself and how to feel about myself is a part of ongoing survival. When I was growing up I noticed there were two main things that seemed to kill people. The first was a bad diet and the second was not dealing with their feelings and emotions. Yes. I know it takes an extreme amount of work but if you don't deal with all your feelings and experiences of your life they are sure to drive you insane or kill you. So, it is always a choice every moment of every day for each of us. Trying to maintain all aspects of our health is a constant job for all of us who have survived and who still choose to journey on any way that we can.