The following article is not for children but only for mature adults:
I was watching the "Eli Manning" Guested SNL or Saturday night live last Saturday and Sunday on my TIVO DVR and thought the "50 Shades of Gray" skit was one of the funniest mother's day skits I have ever seen on SNL. If you get a chance to view the SNL skit on DVR or online it is very funny.
I'm not into the subject matter of the book but it appears many women are. I'm way too traditional and normal for a book like this. But since so many women around the world are amazed by this book I thought I would share this article: begin quote:
'Fifty Shades' of a kinky sex revolution? Maybe not
- Comments 10
What's happening to the sex lives of American women when an erotic trilogy focused on kinky sex becomes a top seller?
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The
books in question explicitly describe bondage, discipline, sadism
and masochism (BDSM) as a relationship unfolds between recent college
graduate Anastasia Steele and handsome young billionaire entrepreneur
Christian Grey, who wants her to share his secret dominant/submissive
sexual proclivities.
British writer E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed
took the top three spots in USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list, out
today. The first book has been in the No. 1 spot for three weeks. It
has been banned from library shelves across Florida and Georgia and
parodied on Saturday Night Live.
"It's
challenging for many people to define what a BDSM behavior is," says
Debby Herbenick, an educator at the Kinsey Institute for Research in
Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University- Bloomington.
The
spectrum ranges from "handcuffs and little devices meant for spanking
and things like that" to more extremes involving real pain.
Experts
say that a big part of BDSM involves role-playing and an exchange of
power. So how many people are tying up their partners or brandishing
riding crops behind closed doors?
And is it OK?
"I
would certainly say millions of people participate in it," Herbenick
says, but there are no good numbers because no large national surveys
have asked.
Don't call it 'mommy porn'
"We
hear fairly often that the estimate on prevalence of BDSM is one in 10.
We don't know whether or not that's accurate," says clinical
psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz, a certified sex therapist and professor
of medicine at University of Ottawa in Canada.
Susan Wright of Phoenix, founder of the National Coalition
for Sexual Freedom, an advocacy group, says the trilogy shows BDSM "in a
very responsible way," citing the "extended discussion about what each
character wants from the sexual relationship, with great examples of
'hard limits' but also compromises."
She
says, however, that the term "mommy porn" some have used to describe
the books is "another way of denigrating women's interest in
sexuality."
Despite the heroine's sexual
submissiveness and some anti-feminist sentiments, there's "nothing
gender-subversive in the book," says Staci Newmahr, an assistant
professor of sociology at Buffalo State College in New York.
"In
regular vanilla eroticism, women are supposed to want dominant, rich
men. This is 'Cinderella-kinky,' " says Newmahr, author of Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy.
"It
surprises me that an erotic book is a best seller in this country, but
if there's going to be one, it does not surprise me this kinky twist on
Harlequin romance is it, because the characterization of what's erotic
is so consistent with what's supposed to be erotic for women and men in
this country."
Sallie Foley, a certified sex therapist and educator in Ann Arbor, Mich., says James shows "a woman being strong in her capacity to knowingly submit."
In the end, it's a fantasy
"More people will realize it's OK to explore this and have a fantasy life," says Foley, author of Sex Matters for Women. "It doesn't mean in any way women want to give up the vote."
But just how emotionally safe is BDSM?
"The mantra of the BDSM world is 'safe, sane and consensual,' " says Kleinplatz, author of New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives, a second edition out in March. To the extent that's followed, "they are not harmful."
Herbenick
says that as with any sexual behavior, the key is "how you do it, under
what circumstances you do it and how you feel about it. Nobody should
engage in (it) if they don't want to or if they don't feel good about
it."
But Foley says there are emotional
risks. "If you're doing it to be liked, to be loved, in order for your
boyfriend to pay the rent, or if you're doing it because you think
that's what's expected of you but it's psychologically not comfortable
for you, it could be potentially quite harmful for you," she says.
Clinical psychologist and sex therapist Barry McCarthy of Washington, D.C.,
says ongoing relationships do have trouble keeping alive that sense of
"eroticism, unpredictability and vitality," which may be why the books
could be spicing up sex lives across the USA.
But he cautions that fantasy and behavior are different.
"For
most people, the erotic fantasy is better as a fantasy," he says,
because acting it out may make them "feel self-conscious and
intimidated."
Despite Fifty Shades' popularity, Herbenick, author of Sex Made Easy, out last month, says she doesn't expect lots of people to "engage in hard-core BDSM as a result of the book.
"I do not expect massive changes in the bedrooms across America," she says. end quote from:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012-05-08/Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-sex/54864236/1?csp=ip
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