Searching for the One

Some people believe there is just one right person for them. Other people believe it could be one of  a hundred or a thousand or more. I have believed both at different times in my life.

As a boy and young man I still believed there was just one perfect person out there for me. So, I was very gentlemanly searching for this one right girl from the time I started dating at 15 years old.

By the time I was 21 I had been through some very difficult experiences and became cynical about there being only one right girl for me somewhere. So, I dated in a sequentially monogamous way many many women trying to stay alive to find that one right girl to be with. Finally, my live in girlfriend when I was 25 got pregnant and we decided to stay together and get married and raise my son. She was 21 and I 26 and it worked for about 4 years time. Then I was a single Dad with a 3 year old son who is now 40 and teaches English to Junior High Students and is married and having a baby soon with his new wife.

So, throughout my life I have been searching for the one and there have been many ones that I hoped were the one that would stand by me and be there forever. But then, around 45 I met someone as grown up and as level headed who had grown up with good parents like me. And I realized I had finally found someone that I might be able to spend the rest of my life with (20 years so far)(That's the longest I have ever lived with a woman or been married so far).

It took a long time to be able to understand myself enough to know what might work. The most important thing in life is to not give up trying. If you permanently give up you might be dead soon.

So, don't give up on yourself or life. Maybe the next one will be the right one for you. Or maybe you are already with the right one and just don't completely understand it yet. Searching for the ONE.

It might be God, it might be Life, it might be Buddha. It might be all three. It might be a person. It might just be getting to know yourself so you are friends enough with yourself to actually want to still be alive at 65 like I am.

Every day and moment is Grace. Be grateful for each moment of loving life because it's all completely amazing!

And you can survive to 105 if you're young at heart! (old lyrics but still true today)