Though there are different kinds of these that occur in people's lives at every age I want to talk about one I have had some experience with the last 10 years or so in my own life.
Today I was doing something and realizing someone else was trying to control my thoughts at a distance. Now, many of you might believe this is impossible but I have experienced this many times. The saddest cases of this are people in your life that become senile or get Alzheimer's because it is sort of pathetic but problematic because you love these people. If people are just walking by you this can happen to for a little while or a long time but, family members who are starting to lose good boundaries is the most difficult to deal with because they lose their good boundaries.
For example, my mother at a certain point of her senile dementia reached out and corded with me and I called a friend who understood something about cording and asked him what I should do. He said, "Fred. You're not only a shaman who was trained with native American Shamans and gone on a vision quest, you have also studied with Tibetan Lamas too. Man up and just deal with this!
Of course he was right and so because my mother was scared from so many personality changes I let her cord with me so she would feel more secure. What cording is is they send out a silver cord that often attaches to your heart or side or solar plexus area. They do this because they are scared and want your support until they die, especially of they have mentally lost it through senile dementia or Alzheimer's.
The last two years of my mother's life she no longer knew who I was which was very distressing for me. Then when I had made arrangements for taking my wife's father's ashes to St. Louis for Burial on the plane with my wife and daughter, suddenly I was told to come to my mother's facility (the best in my county) because she was in a coma with a death rattle. So, I was then in Los Angeles LAX Airport transferring planes to St. Louis waiting for the next plane when the news came that my mother had died. This was pretty awful to deal with this news while also carrying my wife's father's ashes on the plane with us to St. Louis. I wondered how both of us losing our last parent the same year in addition to losing my favorite aunt, and one of my female cousins was going to be for us to survive?
But, I think I did the right thing and made my mother's life more bearable by letting her supernaturally cord with me. But, I wouldn't recommend it unless you are a very strong person.
It, for me, was something I allowed to help her make her transition out of this world.
I think the last 10 years of my mother's life with senile dementia was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.
So, what you will notice with psychic boundary failures with relatives and close friends or mates is that it is really hard to deal with on multiple levels. People who are strangers but powerful you can usually walk away from or go pray in a church or the forest or in your home at your altar and clear the air. But, relatives you have loved since you were a little child can be really scary to deal with when they are no longer in their right minds from Alzheimer's or senile dementia.
This is why so many people die trying to take care of their relatives in their own homes around the world, especially if they are single people. Because this often will make people crazy or dead or both.
So, for me, having a 5 year old daughter and a 12 year old daughter and a son 15 years older than that and a wife made me realize my priorities at that time in 2001 which had to be my children and my wife because my mother was already 82 to 90 years old and had already lived her life. Otherwise I'm not sure I would be alive today if it weren't for my wife and children that I had to stay alive for.
Death has never been a problem for me to deal with (other people's or my own) because I already live in both worlds. But crazy as in senile dementia or Alzheimer's watching someone go through about 50 to 100 personalities that you have never met before in the person you love is pretty horrific and personality destroying for people left behind after it's all over and the loved one is finally gone.
That's why people who choose to survive this mostly put their relative at some point into some kind of facility and those who don't might not last very long either afterwards, around the world. Even if you can't afford another facility you might think about having another relative not quite as close to them as you take care of them towards the end so you can survive your mate or relatives passing so you can be there still for your children and friends as long as possible with your mind and health intact both mentally and physically.
Often the real choice is like this: "Either you get away from your loved one enough so you can survive when they are gone, or you both might be both mad and dead together." Any way you look at this it likely will be the hardest choice you ever make in your life. But, by not making this choice you might not be mentally or physically competent or you could be dead when it's all over.
However, after going through all this myself I greatly respect all people trying to care for loved ones because both Senile Dementia and Alzheimer's are in the end both fatal diseases.
And you will watch your loved one regress through personalities back through teenage to child to baby and often then into a coma before they are gone.
Note: Because my mother didn't know who I was for the last 2 years of her life (or anyone else either) and because we were already dealing with my wife's father's passing and then taking his ashes physically to St. Louis to be buried alongside his parents there, I asked the mortuary to put my mother's body on ice. So, she remained on ice until I could return from Saint Louis with my family. I had to prioritize the sanity and emotional well being of my wife and daughter to my own. Then when I returned my wife and I went to the mortuary and the cemetery and I kissed my frozen Popsicle mother on the forehead and pushed her body into the furnace. As I watched the smoke of my other travel out of the 1 foot wide stainless steel chimney outside because the furnace inside was deafening, I thought how much she would have liked to be traveling out as smoke on the wind knowing her. The bones that are burned and then crushed into a more grainy and powdery substance (ashes) are then gathered and given to you in a box or urn (your choice). I kept my mother's ashes on my grand piano in a blue velvet bag where we had sat while I played and we both sang together especially at Christmas time during many of the last years of her life.
My son could not deal with her death for 1 or 2 years as he had cared for her before she was institutionalized in 2001 in December after she almost burning down her apartment when no one was there with her. So, I had to wait until he could cope with a burial at sea which is what she wished. I put her ashes where John Denver Crashed his plane in the sea because she loved John Denver's music. I also would play and sing many of his songs on the guitar and piano along with her since the 1970s.
So, we chartered a yacht for the family and sailed to where I had my son drop her ashes into the sea and be free.
No comments:
Post a Comment