Relationships

I was talking to the girlfriend of a good friend of mine last night after I survived my ordeal on Mt. Shasta. I was pretty out of it so from exhaustion it would sort of be like if someone drank a bottle of wine and was in physical pain even though I was just suffering from an extreme form of exhaustion alongside of several injuries I had sustained trying to get back down through the snow while I was dealing with pushing too hard at too high an altitude for my age and condition.

So, I was talking to her about relationships because she had never had children even though she was about 50 but incredibly well preserved and beautiful and happy and healthy with a Master's Degree in Music. So, I guess I was trying to share with her more what it is like for me with children which is a different lifestyle since I started having children in 1974. My youngest is going off to college in the fall and my oldest will be 40 next month and just got married and is having a baby in June.

I was trying to explain to her how my first priority is not myself but always my children and how though I dated a lot before I was 25 how all this had to change a lot when I became a father to a son and had to start thinking differently.

I said to her, "There are people you fall in love with and there are people you have children with and they aren't always the same people."

So, I said to her, "If you are a decent human being you have to honor your children's needs above your own."

Though I didn't tell her this internally I knew that over the last 40 years since my son was born often about once ever 10 years or so I would fall in love deeply with someone not my wife. But, I had to choose the well being of my children over my own needs (however, to be realistic I wasn't always 100% successful with this). However, in the main I stood by my children through whatever was happening in their lives or mine and as a result of this all of them are still talking to me and have a pretty good relationship with me(all of them between 18 and 40 years of age). I would say standing by my children allowed me to still be alive now at age 66 more than any single thing I have done in my life. So, honoring your children (if you are a real parent) which many are not will give you what you need to live to old age often as long as you take care of your health (on all levels too).