Is that it is a completely unnatural act for a man. Making babies is natural for both men and women, but staying with one woman the rest of your life just isn't natural for most men. And here is the problem right here.
Next, people get married for all the wrong reasons. If you ask people why they broke up with their spouse you aren't usually going to hear: "I didn't love them ever."
No. If people are honest most people break up because of money, not because they don't love each other.
Most marriages and relationships break up either because there isn't enough money in the relationship to survive or someone hogs all the money and doesn't share it or someone spends all the money and is wasteful and ridiculous or all these things or some of them at once.
But, people don't usually marry if they don't love each other (at least in the beginning).
So, if I look at my 3 marriages starting when I was 26 because my live in girlfriend got pregnant with my son, I actually loved my first wife a lot and was very loyal to her and she knew this. But, the problem was she was only 21 years old and not completely grown up like I was. But, I also must say I had to fake being a Dad and a husband a lot until I got more used to it by the time I was in my 30s. Being a husband and a Dad doesn't come natural to most people even though I always wanted to be a Dad. However, I wasn't thinking that I also would have to be a husband too. This wasn't something I had looked forward to at all. Living with someone sounded really great. Being married to ANYONE for the rest of my life always sounded like some kind of prison sentence and not useful to me.
So, why did my first marriage end?
Mostly because we were just too young to make it work right. Each of us wasn't grown up in the right ways to make it work. But, realistically looking back now from age 67 that marriage could not have worked more than about 1 year past where it did.
Next marriage. I was 32 and much more practical and experienced at this point. My 2nd wife had also been married and brought 2 kids to the marriage and I brought my son from my first marriage to which I had custody of. This marriage was find until my father died in 1985 and I realized I wasn't going to be with this 2nd wife the rest of my life. I was pretty horrified and how destroyed I was by my father's death and then I made a mistake. I began to blame my wife for my father's death simply because she kept putting him down after he died. So, all my wrath at my father's dying was turned against my 2nd wife which I apologized to her for recently by the way. She didn't really care about this she wanted me to apologize for other things. No problem for me at all in this. We have been divorced (after being married 14 years since about 1994.
My present wife I met after filing for divorce ending my 2nd marriage and she was the opposite of any person I had dated since I left my family church at age 21. She came from a very socially conservative background of people who did very well during the 20th and 21st centuries and we have been happy since we married in December 1995. But, what I must say is that I would not have been happy with her nor would our marriage have worked without all the suffering we both had been through before we met in late 1994.
So, without a whole lot of suffering and learning before we got married it couldn't have worked to the point where we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But, neither of us really got here until our 40s when we got together.
So, often you have to really go through a lot to find out what is going to work for you the rest of your lives.
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