Though everyone is different near death has always brought the me closest to God, especially as a child. I just at this point assume it is a part of my training in working for God. I saw this in the prophets as God often tested and scared them out of their wits to serve him.
Is God mean?
No. That's not it. The world is a strange place and if we are not trained then we can't do as much good here. So, that's how I see it now. Then as a child almost dying several times I thought to myself, "God. Why are you trying to kill me?" This is what I actually thought at the time. But, now I understand because Earth is a very tricky place to survive and be a good person in. Often if you let your guard down in some situations you are soon dead or injured by a bad decision.
So, training your intuition to be tuned into God and what God wants for you which often is just to do certain things while you are here, then life can be quite wonderful as an adult. Can life as a child be wonderful? For me, my 20s were awful even though I had many girlfriends because I thought I was here for an entirely different purpose than my life turned out to be.
So, training for one thing and then realizing I had to go an entirely different direction was very difficult for me. But, here's the thing. The world is much bigger in it's purposes than any one of us can ever know.
So, having your mind blown by God is often helpful for each of us to reach our purposes. So, often we cannot understand at all at first. Over time, we understand more and more and hopefully we can remain non-violent through all this. And this too is often difficult.
So, over time we grow hopefully into beings that are useful and gracious in the eyes of God.
By God's Grace
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