There is no fate but what you and God make together

"God helps those who help themselves"

On one level this saying has bothered me a lot over the years but at the same time as a pragmatic person I see this as totally true in every way.

If you don't see this then possibly you have no future or you have rich parents and grandparents one of the two or both.

Because unless you help yourself to create yourself a life and engineer yourself a life one step at a time you won't have a life.

I remember when I was the most suicidal in November and December of 1969 I was walking down La Jolla Beach near Scripps pier near Scripps institute of Oceanography and I looked at all the people and felt I had no connection with any of them (which was sort of true because I just had moved from Glendale, Hollywood Hills and then Venice to Poway and I was sort of lost in more ways than one.

As I walked down this beach I sort of thought to myself how I was going to take my life that day because my life (as far as I was concerned) was over and there was no reason at all to go on. I was 21 years old (what did I know?)

I'm not really sure how I stayed alive through that section of my life but most likely I realized I couldn't do that to my parents (take my own life) because I was their only child and this would harm them greatly. So, no matter how hard it was for me to stay alive the next 4 to 5 years I found ways to do that rather than to destroy the lives of my parents.

Actually, as difficult as it was to stay alive I have never regretted the choice I made partly because I got married and had a son by 26 and I would say by age 32 I was very happy for about 5 years time until my father died. Life has it's ups and downs and sometimes just 5 years of things working okay can keep you alive the rest of your life.

By God's Grace