How do you wind up like the last picture of the guy with cholla Cactuses all over him?

There are a couple of ways but usually to look like he does you either were riding a motorcycle (off road) and you crash into a cholla cactus bush or bushes. Or you are walking or running down a trail and somehow fall off the trail and into a bush.

I have done the riding too close to a cholla bush on an off road motorcycle and having some stay with me as I rode by. And I have made the mistake of walking with beach walkers (we used to call these sandals thongs) but now the name means something else. And if there are dead cholla on the ground the thorns (like porcupine quills) still can get you through your sandals.

My father owned a land and house between Yucca Valley and Landers California and had 2 1/2 acres there and a house that he and I and my Mom and friends built on weekends from 1968 until 1980 when he moved there when he retired. So, I had one or more motorcycles there to ride from about 1968 until 1985. I had a World War II BSA 500 used in North Africa during World War II and Matchless 600 (a British Bike) set up for Hill climbing 1960 with a straight pipe that blew blue flames at night with a top speed because of the super large sprocket in the rear  of about 45 miles per hour. But, this made the lowest two gears almost fatal when you started out because it could throw you on your butt. So, Often I started out in 2nd or 3rd gear not to have the bike come back on top of me when first starting out.

Later in 1975 I bought a Honda 250 XL which likely was my favorite off road bike I ever owned which was good at super low speeds as well as it could go about 70 on the freeway. But, I never felt safe on a freeway because you need more power and maneuverability on a freeway. So, usually you want a bike on a freeway of over 600 CC to get out of the way of cars and trucks that just don't see you for one reason or another.