Where do I start? I am one of the lucky ones here on earth who survived these times. I grew up in another crazy time (different than this crazy time). Then it wasn't rightest crazies killing people it was leftest crazies blowing people and banks up and stuff like that during the Viet Nam war protests. So, it was really crazy then because if you were my age and going to college or not you were generally either in college if you were a guy or you were in Viet Nam in the Army or other military services. one or the other. So, this was crazy in a permanently fatal way.
Luckily now, military is all volunteer (which creates a completely different set of problems than forcing clueless boys who have either dropped out of high school or graduated high school into the U.S. Army usually through the draft.
But, I didn't have to go serve in the military because I had already almost died many times from Whooping cough at age 2 and periodically between ages 10 and 15, night time Seizures caused by a concussion. However, to be honest with you at the time I had no idea what was causing my seizures because we didn't know much then and my Dad and Mom mostly didn't go to doctors in the 1950s. So, I had no idea what was killing me then. I just thought at the time that God was trying to kill me. So, what happened to me is that basically a seizure (the actual experience of it) is to be periodically murdered. This would be the best way to explain it to people. You experience being murdered periodically and it is extremely traumatic to go through each time. However, I was young and strong enough on all levels to survive all these seizures at the time. But, likely if I had been over 35, any one of these would have killed me where I likely would have either had a heart attack or stroke and died. But, because I was young and strong enough, I survived all this for 5 years at night between ages 10 and 15.
To make this even weirder, my father forbade me to tell anyone I was going through all this. However, I usually talked to my very best friend about the fact that I expected to die soon in one of these seizures. So, for me, death from one of these was a very real possibility each time I went through one of these at night.
I would start to wake up and then I would realize I was going into a seizure and if I still had enough control in my physical body before it got serious or potentially fatal each time I would try to get to my parents room so they would make sure I didn't swallow my tongue during a seizure and strangle on my tongue.
So, waking up with my father with a butter knife trying to pry my jaws open so he could grab my tongue was a pretty normal (though completely horrifying experience I endured and survived somehow).
Finally by the time I turned 15 I got religion and prayed hard for God to come into my body so I wouldn't die. When I did this I stopped having seizures and my physical appearance completely changed and girls started falling in love with me a lot. So, God definitely came into my body with me to live with me.
But, I wouldn't recommend doing this unless you want an experience like out of the old or new testament sort of like the prophets in the Bible. This was in it's own way more intense than the seizures I had been going through before, just different.
If you invoke God to live with you in your body supernatural events are going to be happening all the time which also might kill you unless you are a very very strong person emotionally like I am.
By God's Grace
note: The point is when you get to your 20s what is important is to let go of enough things that people expect of you so you can actually survive your 20s. Unless you let go of everyone's expectations of you you might not survive your 20s.
What I have noticed is that UNREALISTIC Expectations is the main thing that kills young people more than any other one thing. Of course people take risks like taking drugs and driving too fast on motorcycles or bicycles or cars and die a lot too. But, at core I personally believe unrealistic expectations is what kills more young people than anything else.
So, in order to survive my 20s I had to reparent myself and to give up all the things that people like my parents had laid upon me as expectations. Only then, could I actually survive my 20s by doing what most was in my heart. If you follow your heart you are more likely to survive your 20s. IF college is making you crazy enough to kill yourself, maybe take a break from college and try doing something else for a semester.
Because if you are dead it doesn't matter what you are presently studying or doing. So, unless you do what you love you might not stay alive to see 30 or after in your life. I found my 20s were the very hardest time for me to want to stay alive. So, reparenting oneself might be important to get rid of negative conditioning from childhood and growing up.
By God's grace
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