The scariest time for me in life was actually during and after my 2 divorces

I began to understand why so many men just lose it and shoot themselves or their loved one then. It's not a pretty picture of what happens to you during a divorce.

Divorce is a lot like death because both people in the divorce and the children are raped by the legal system beyond anything that happens in the actual divorce. And both times I questioned seriously whether I could survive either divorce at the time in any way, shape or form.

What saved me both times was one of my children needing me to "man up" and keep it together sort of like a soldier in battle for their lives.

My first divorce I was given custody immediately of my 3 year old son because she realized she wasn't cut out to be a full time Mom. But, she gets along fine with my son now even though it is more like his mother is his Aunt or something.

My second divorce I started in order to legally and physically protect my daughter as I really didn't want to get divorced but I was counseled by my lawyer who was also a Catholic Priest who had once been the District Attorney for Santa Cruz County that I needed to divorce my 2nd wife in order to protect my daughter. So, this is what I did.

But, emotionally for me, my first and 2nd divorces were a very scary time for me in dealing with my emotions. But, the men in my family are capable of being very self disciplined and so my children benefited from this self discipline in protecting them both times.

But, only by biting my lip sometimes until it bled could I be disciplined enough to make it through these times okay. So, I fully understand men who go off and take out themselves or their families during this awful times in one's life even though I was able to make it through in one piece along with my children by the self discipline present in my family since we came to the U.S. in the early 1700s from Switzerland through England by a ship sort of like the Mayflower only 100 years later.

However, I met and married my 3rd wife who adopted all my children as her own and this has worked out great since we got together late in 1994.

But, it was very hard and I almost died in 1998 and 1999 trying to be self disciplined enough like a soldier for my children. But, dying for your children is often what parents do.

So, I'm grateful that I almost died instead of dying for my children because they need me here on earth still even though now I'm in my mid 70s.

 By God's Grace