There is a time I feel somewhat haunted by that likely stretches from age 15 to 25 when I was trying to figure out how to stay alive here on earth and how to even want to continue to be alive here on earth. So, much was then and now demanded of young people that many people in my generation didn't make it. I suppose this is also true now but the problems are somewhat different in many ways. I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s and was 21 in 1969.
So, why am I haunted by my past? Do I regret anything I did from 15 to 25? No. That's not it. The problem as I see it now was that I was naive in what I believed life was all about. This naiveness led to some really awful experiences in life but it's not that I regret what I did because my motivations were always to help others and myself whenever possible. I was never someone who wanted to hurt anyone. I had been raised very religious and I respected life in all it's forms as a direct result and I saw all people as "Children of God" no matter what religion or even if they had no religion at all.
No. I feel haunted by my past because of my youthful ignorance and other people's ignorance at any age mostly because I am wise now and not naive anymore.
Most people are trying to do the right thing in their lives but through ignorance harm other people.
Was I harmed seriously by other people's ignorance? Yes.
Were other people indirectly harmed by my ignorance. Likely yes.
But, did other people actually wish to cause harm? If they were sane enough likely not.
However, they did cause harm.
And that is why sometimes I feel haunted by the past.
And it's hard sometimes to come to any useful terms at all with that except to give it all to God and to let it go if you can.
By God's Grace
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