I'm sure you have heard of Peer Counseling

I learned to do this in a church that allowed a Peer Counseling Group to meet there in the early 2000. I went through about 12 weeks of training at night with other men learning how to not project my traumas on my significant other and friends and family.

So, when you realize that something is from your personal traumas you say to your partner, friend, family member or whoever. "I'm sorry that is my trauma not yours I need to deal with it myself and not project my problems on you."

This can save your marriage or relationship you are in if both you and your partner agree to not project individual problems on each other. So, learning peer counseling skills can save many many marriages from going down the toilet and live in relationships as well.  

Most of the time the other person is not your problem and you are only projecting your traumas onto others that you care about and love. If you keep projecting your bad stuff on to them you likely are going to lose them eventually when they walk out of your life sometimes for good.

So, this is both an art and a science of recognizing when you are projecting your traumas on someone else when they have no idea why you are being so crazy and might just decide to walk away from you if you aren't careful. 

So, there are "Your problems" there are "MY problems" and then lastly there are "Our problems". If you don't know the difference between all these things in your relationships you cannot succeed in any love relationship long term. This is just a very sad fact of life (generally speaking) that affects literally EVERYONE on earth.