Wednesday, August 28, 2024

"What do I do next to survive this day so I can still be alive tomorrow?"

 Basically, what I have found is if you don't ask yourself this question sometimes "Every Day" then you might not be alive tomorrow. I have watched many people die basically from not seriously asking themselves this question.

I have always been sort of serious which began I think with yes being born but also having whooping cough at age 2. When you almost die when you are two you sort of are not as happy go lucky or as silly as most other kids. So, I watched kids around me injure themselves and sometimes die because of doing really stupid things growing up. I was unlikely to make some of the same mistakes as other kids. 

But, psychologically what almost dying did to me was it made me a risk taker physically. Why?

Because I didn't feel that I was alive a lot of the time because of my experience with whooping cough. So, I would feel more alive when I did things like jump off of roofs onto lawns and stuff like this. However, when I was 42 after jogging most of my life I had my feet x-rayed and realized I had hundreds of microfractures in the bones of my feet from jumping off of roofs onto lawns when I was 8 to 15 years old. The other thing we used to do was to jump off of 2nd story roofs onto piles of sand that people make cement out of on building projects. If you jumped from the 2nd story roof just right you could glissade down the pile of sand (the amount of sand a big dump truck would dump. Then at 16 I started piloting gliders that a tow plane took us up into the air and we would release the rope or line and fly and glide without a motor. I thought that was fun too even though we had no engine for any emergency like when you land you have to land right or it's all over. There's no going around for a 2nd time landing in a glider. you have one chance to land and that's all.

So, there was this thing where I had to risk my life to feel alive in the moment when I could die theoretically. So, this is what almost dying from Whooping cough did to me long term.

So then, when I was 26 and I was married and my son was born I knew I needed to reduce the physical risks I was taking in life so I gave up rock climbing with pitons and ropes in places like Yosemite national Park. This was likely the most dangerous thing I was doing then so I gave that up. But, I didn't give up riding off road motorcycles or dualsport motorcycles and I didn't give up Scuba Diving or Boogie boarding or body surfing 5 to 10 foot waves on the California coast and I still had a very powerful 1968 Camaro that I bought new that I once drove 145 miles per hour in.

So, taking physical risks was often the only time I felt fully alive. And I often dated somewhat dangerous women from 21 to 25 too. And even my first wife came after me with a butcher knife once and because my son was 2 1/2 years old instead of running from her because he was there I turned and grabbed her wrist with the butcher knife in it so my son wouldn't be harmed. Since I'm 6 foot 5 and very strong I could protect myself, my son and my wife who was dealing with some kind of allergic reactions that were severe then. So, everything turned out okay in the long run. Besides my first wife was only 5 foot 4 inches tall so I was much stronger than she was too. I'm as big as a pro football player in this sense.

So, all in all the single most important question that I ask myself every day now  is: "What can I do to survive this day so I can be alive tomorrow for myself and my family and my friends?"

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