Knowing when to ask for help

 When I was a child and even as a high school Student I guess I believed that somehow magically you would know exactly what to do when you were an adult. People often started out life without college then in the 1960s more than now also. So, an Adult was anywhere between 16 and 18 years of age. Did everyone survive adulthood. Many less than now by the way percentage wise. Why?

Because 16 to 18 was too young really then too to really understand what adulthood really was or is.

However, people didn't live as long then either so one reason everyone had to be grown up quick is because they needed to have their kids before they died as adults. People were still dying a lot in their 30s and 40s and because of this there was much more fear and paranoia then than now. HOwever, you would have to have been alive then to more fully understand just how paranoid people were then in the 1950s and 1960s.

So, I guess what I'm saying is often kids are still this way in that they expect to know everything at 16 or 18 and never need to ask for help ever again. But, that's how many people also die or starve to death along the way too. It's always been this way.

Also, if your parents hadn't been to college often at age 18 you were kicked out of your bedroom and home and just expected to make your own way much more than now too. This caused many people either to grow up fast or do something fatal (whatever that was).

And College both then and now wasn't always an answer because just like now if you are not asking a useful question there is NO answer that college can give you about life if you are not looking for your questions to be asked and often it will be a complete waste of time for you if you haven't developed questions through the pains of growing up. Unless your questions are born of pain and experience then your questions aren't very useful in keeping you even alive as an adult.

So, when should young people ask for help?

If you leave high school between 16 or 18 and don't go to college you likely should be asking for help right away if you are being raised by someone responsible that you can trust. Otherwise you need to look for a mentor who can help you survive better in your life.

If you are going to college and your college is paid for and your room and board then this becomes something completely different.

However, unless you are going to be a college teacher or a researcher in college the real world is 180 degrees different than anything you are going to experience in college. People who work their way through college all know this. The rest might not.

So, when should you ask for help as a young adult? I suppose it depends upon your circumstances. But, if you have people you can trust even if they don't have much money at least they can show you how to better survive like writing checks or using a computer or using a smartphone or managing money or making money or all aspects of life that you might not know about fully or have questions regarding your life.

So, I noticed a lot as my kids grew up that often they felt that they shouldn't ask for help until they were about 25 years old. Mostly this causes a lot of suffering in the people's lives who don't ask for help before this.

But, like I said, everyone's circumstances are different.

Luckily, I had very good parents who were always there for me in many different ways and I also tried to be there for them as much as I could until I got married and had a son when I was 26 and even then I tried to be there for them whenever I could.

What goes around comes around. If people (like your parents) help you then when you can help them it seems only right to do that too if possible.

Life goes on with us or without us. But, if you know when to ask for help you might just survive to be 30 years of age.

And after all, if you live to be 30 often you can expect to be 90 too.

Which seems to me a worthwhile goal in and of itself.

By God's Grace