The 5 stages of grief apply to many things not just the physical death of yourself or others

I thought about this last night and today when the ghost of a friend of mine came and visited me. It was not a very pleasant experience because I knew he was struggling with being dead. I also knew that he was sad to give up the house he built, especially because he had a reverse mortgage on it before he passed away. So, he wasn't a happy camper having passed on like he thought he might be. However, he was 81 or 82 so he was sort of ready for passing on because of his advanced age.

However, grief isn't just for those who have passed on that you know and love it is equally as bad often for Breakups of lovers or married couples especially if you believe (This the one for life). and you cannot replace them. I used to experience this myself in my late teens and early 20s when I broke up with someone I felt I could never replace.

However, eventually I got out of this "Disney" approach to life which can be very self destructive to people and realized that there might be 100 women out there that I could be with and be happy the rest of my life. When I did this I was able to "MOVE ON" from that very destructive to one's survival way of thinking which is "This is the only one for me and without them I'm going to die."

Seeing people like this who break up is one of the saddest things of all for me in life. Because they have "NO hope of all of ever replacing that person if they don't believe they can."

So, survival is often about moving on after the breakup or death of your partner in life. and then there are whatever children are involved and this is where it gets really really potentially difficult for everyone.

However, there are ways through all this whether it is a physical death of someone close to you or whether it is just the death of a wonderful relationship or whatever it is.

Another kind of grief is losing your health.

I found this really hard when I started to realize I was getting older around 37 to 40 years of age and rock climbing and to some degree I realized I didn't have the health or endurance that I once had anymore.

Then this only got worse during my divorce in 1994 and then I married someone else in December of 1995. So, grief comes in many forms.

Then I found myself grieving for my own health and life when I almost died in 1998 and 1999 from a heart virus. 

But, somehow God took even better care of me after this partly because he had given me a really amazing wife in 1995 so I didn't die.

But, I would say learning to cry (even if only privately when things get bad) is really important so you don't just get angry and give yourself cancer and die.

So, releasing your feelings in some way is necessary to stay healthy.

When I was going through my divorce in 1994 I had a lady counselor who was counseling me through me divorce.

She said, "When something bad that is real like an awful divorce is happening often getting sick or even injured is better than going crazy with problems like this."

I have noticed this to be true too. I was trying to help my friend in Texas regarding his mother's passing and I hope I got through to him the part about allowing your self to get sick especially which is better than not getting sick and going crazy and becoming completely dysfunctional for life.

So, learning to cry is often the difference between life and death for people.

Simply because if you can't cry often you will get cancer and die from your anger.

This happens all the time.

So, grief is healthy and often without it we die or go crazy.

So, stay healthy any way you can.

By God's Grace