Friday, March 25, 2016

1 year ago today

I was wondering why I was feeling so depressed today. I opened up my phone calendar and realized that if I think of it as a Friday today was the day my appendix burst (even though no one knew exactly what had happened to me for 1 weeks time Including doctors. If I take it as a date it was the 27th of March 2015 which was then on a Friday last year. About midnight I called my friends to take me to the hospital because I was in too much pain to be able to concentrate on driving. (I won't call an ambulance for myself because my father died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital).

So, when they arrived I asked them to drive me in my truck to the hospital. They put me on Oxygen and gave me morphine. So, I was okay for about 6 hours from that and the hallucinations from the morphine weren't too bad either. I was worried about that but this time I was okay.

They released me in the morning and I knew then I was in trouble because I wasn't cured from whatever it was and then sort of expected to die then in my hotel room because of this. I knew I was so close to death I didn't even want my wife to see me die so I didn't encourage her to drive to where I was about 400 miles from where we live. Within 4 days alone in the hotel room I could eat again, starting with a spoonful of yogurt and a couple of bites of mango. That's about all I could get down until I had a small handful of pasta later in the week. Needless to say I was starting to really lose weight fast from not being able to eat anything really.

On Monday after the Friday night I spent in the hospital on morphine and oxygen I had my first bowel movement just before my daughter's boyfriend drove down to be with me in case I died suddenly. I was okay if I died around my daughter's boyfriend because I guess it's sort of a guy thing where if you are in battle there's a way guys can be around death that often women cannot manage where you are just allowed to be and die if you have to without being made to feel guilty about the whole thing. It's not that a women might say something about it it's just that if you have to die and leave her behind your guilt because you are dying before her is only going to make the whole thing much worse than it has to be.

So, by the time he left Wednesday night after his days off for the week were done my wife arrived the next morning and I was starting to get a little stronger. I had been since Friday night about 10% to 20% of my normal strength and by the time she arrived I was back up to about 40% of normal so I knew I wasn't going to die (at least right then).

By Saturday morning both my wife and I insisted I go back to the hospital to try to track down what was really wrong with me. The hospital said "Gastritis" but I knew that wasn't really it. So, I asked for a Sonogram of my intestines to try to find out what was wrong. The doctor on duty in the emergency room suggested a CT Scan and I and my wife agreed even though I wasn't really sure what a CT scan was. After I had it (it looks like a huge doughnut that they move you through several times where they map completely your intestines (or whatever they are trying to make a virtual reality map of).

Within a 1/2 hour to one hour of this they told me I had had a burst appendix for the last week and they were sort of surprised I was still alive and that I needed emergency laproscopic surgery to correct the problem right then. I told them I was too weak to survive an operation at only 40% of normal strength and energy. They told me if I didn't have the surgery right then I might die. So, I agreed but fully expected to die on the operating table. However, my wife and I agreed that getting operated on likely was the best thing to do even if I died. So, we did that.

I woke up in the recovery room around 11 pm (3 hours later) and was incredibly surprised to still be alive. So, Easter was a time of resurrection for me too because at midnight it became Easter 2015. After about 5 full days in the hospital they released me. But the worst part likely were the next two weeks of not being able to sleep at all more than one hour or less a night. Sleep deprivation caused by what they put in your windpipe during the operation to prevent death by reflux prevents you sleeping more than an hour a day for up to  a month's time. This was the worst thing of all to survive. IF you have ever had extreme sleep deprivation staying rational is almost impossible at a certain point and also I was trying to survive PTSD from the whole experience both physical and psychological which was rough too.

The last year I promised myself to try to live one year after this experience to myself and my family. Now I have lived this year I have more hope of staying alive on and on now. But, it was a rough thing to go through in your late 60s or anytime of your life. The worst physical problem is the hernia near my belly button caused by the operation. Adhesions is another problem you have to deal with as your organs try to stabilize because everything changes position in your intestinal area after an operation like this so your body often creates adhesions to stabilize your intestines and organs. And this can cause problems too.

During the surgery they inflate your intestinal area with CO2 which won't explode or catch fire. So, this is why they use this to be able to see what they are operating on. Also, your body knows what to do with CO2 because it is what you breathe out while breathing.

  1. Laparoscopic surgery - Wikipedia, the free...

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