I have found I tend to fall in love about once every 5 years or so:

 However, you cannot pursue these relationships or your children or marriage will fail. So, being a big enough person to survive all this and to sacrifice for your children is the difference often between whether they live or die or whether they psychologically survive all this or not.

So, if you follow your feelings of love then often your children or spouse won't survive either psychologically or physically if you do this. This is just the reality of life.

Here's the real problem: 

"Things (all things) don't tend to stay secret so when they come out at odd times then families are destroyed, children die or go crazy and so do spouses."

So, if you are a big enough person to understand all this going in you have to be self disciplined so your wife and children actually survive all this. Otherwise, they might not and you will have to watch the carnage first hand which could cause you to take your own life too.

This is about as real as I can say all this and have it still be useful to you.