I didn't really understand myself or what being a human being was until I studied Cultural Anthropology

It was a slow process based upon what was interesting to me at the time. I was dealing with my own problems like "Why Should I stay alive in this world? It's really a mess!"

I remember one day in 1969 I was walking along the beach at La Jolla and I realized how alienated from the world I had become. I had had to leave my childhood religion where I had friends all over the world. I had had to leave the girl I was going to marry in this religion because she had decided to be celibate the rest of her life. However, she was willing to marry me and be celibate the rest of her life.

This wasn't going to work for me because I wanted to have children.

So, I was very despondent then thinking that nothing I could do would make a difference to make me want to still be alive here on earth.

But then, I took a course in Philosophy at Palomar College. Professor Sager had been to a Zen Monastery in Japan and he and his wife sort of took me under his wing so to speak because I would often speak up in class (mostly because I was 21) and I wanted to share what it takes to be alive philosophically with younger students so they wouldn't suffer like I was then. So, sharing then like I share now was a way to help others and also maybe help myself. I got an A and in other Philosophy Courses I took from Mr. Sager then in 1971 and 1972 I believe.

Then I took "Psychology of personal Growth and Development" which really began to open my eyes a lot there at Palomar College. One day I was sitting in the college Library and I found a copy of "Psychology Today" and I started reading it. I realized that both my parents had never been to college so none of us had studied psychology. I began to realize that I really didn't need to suffer the way I was because I didn't need to hold onto many of the traditions of my family that dated back to Europe.

I realized I needed to eliminate many of the restrictions in my life so I could stay alive past 25 and live possibly a long life without self destructing.

So, studying Philosophy and studying psychology and then Cultural Anthropology helped me find ways to stay alive at that time in my life when I had no hope for my future here on earth.

I think it started when I climbed half dome with a friend from Church in Yosemite national Park. It was good to find someone who loved the wilderness as Much as I did who was a peer. He was then on his way to UCLA and there studied The History of Religion specializing in Buddhism and Sanskrit so he eventually got his Master's degree in History under these same specialization by 1976 when I was about 28 and by then married with a son born in 1974 who is now 50 years old.

But, at Palomar College I began to fully understand more that I wasn't the only tortured one who ever lived. I realized how fortunate I was to be allowed by God to attend College instead of being drafted into the Army and dying in Viet Nam or even worse walk the streets of America forever with PTSD or hiding in the woods.

So, I began to see how incredibly lucky I was not to suffer and die like many young men my age and to be allowed to have girlfriends and then get married and have children and start businesses by my late 20s.

But, my personal survival in this lifetime as an adult BEGAN with studying things like Cultural Anthropology where I could learn about the suffering of men and women and children back 25,000 years or more.

By understanding human suffering back at least 25,000 years in all cultures I finally had a perspective of how to go forward and not only help myself to survive but also how to help all people around me to better survive here on earth too.

So, in studying Cultural Anthropology I found myself. In studying Philosophy I found myself. In studying psychology I found myself and I was able then to get married when my live in girlfriend got pregnant and to eventually begin to start businesses of my own.

However, I was so burned by religions by the time I was 29 that I realized that I wasn't really a joiner of religious organizations because I'm too independent of a thinker.

I just don't to bullshit at all anymore from anyone.

And every religion in it's own way tells people a lot of bullshit.

I just got tired to being lied to about a whole lot of things.

I still am with God and angels 24 hours a day but I realized starting then that religions are mostly about making money for their ministers and not much else.

So, I found myself and my future by studying all these things like Cultural anthropology and Psychology and Philosophy.