Thursday, September 22, 2016

What is Reality?

I would express it this way. If you don't find a way to make peace with yourself and all life around you, then don't expect to live very long.

Whether you start with yourself or you start with the world around you, you eventually wind up in the same place with peace both with yourself and with all life in the end.

However, it is also true that for me peace came through the effective use of anger. In other words I needed to get angry enough in a constructive (not self destructive way) to begin to change things in my life so I could be happy and to have peace.

Though I always loved and respected my parents because they were very good people, I am not my father or my mother in the end and the only way I could ever be happy was to evaluate everything in the universe myself to create my own covenant with life and God.

Life was not ever really easy for me because I had whooping cough at age 2 and almost died from it. Then I got a blow to the head from falling on a rock off a small cliff at about 9 and started having seizures at night from age 10 to age 15 when my cranium (skull) grew enough to release the pressure at 15 and my seizures stopped suddenly. Surviving all this caused me to become much more Supernatural in my abilities which is much different than most people are at core, even though everyone in a way has all these abilities  to start with. I just had to use all these abilities to actually stay alive so they developed to an extreme degree in me because I wasn't allowed to take the only drug available for me at the time which was Phenobarbitol because my father forbade this.

So, all I had was mind over matter which I got very good at through focused positive thinking and monitoring what was going on inside my brain 24 hours a day. I did this in order to prevent seizures whenever I could between ages 10 to 15 and this ability never stopped growing in me for many different things.

Many people could be like me but often until you have no choice (if you want to stay alive) you don't develop these kinds of abilities. But, now I like seeing the future or (potential futures) and all their potential outcomes all the time which causes me to think much differently than most people do.

So, making a whole lot of money was never really important to me. What was most important was staying alive by staying harmonious so I didn't die or have seizures between ages 10 to 15. Being stressed tended to cause seizures like when I was scared and worried about a test in school.The worst time for this was between 12 and 15 in Junior High which was really hell for me to try to survive. But, I did somehow by God's Grace.

And here's the funny thing. God putting me through this also gave me a 4F and kept me out of the Viet Nam war so I didn't get killed, maimed or have to walk down the street talking to myself with PTSD the rest of my life like many still do.

So, this I see now was God's Grace, even though I really thought I as going to die between ages 10 and 15 because I saw no permanent way to survive what I was going through,especially when I woke up from my last seizure with a pool of blood around my head on the floor from breaking my nose from trying to run for my parents room while catching my nose on the end of a door and knocking myself out and into a seizure. My father had a butter knife in my mouth trying to pry apart my jar so I wouldn't choke on my tongue. As I woke up he said, "YOU better get some religion under your belt or you are going to die soon son." I was extremely traumatized and I agreed with him at the time.

But, I survived it all by God's Grace because I asked God plaintively to come live in my body with me at age 15 and he did and I have been very different every since.

By God's Grace


So, it is very clear to me I have ONLY lived by God's Grace ever since because If I hadn't invited God to live in my body with me I would be dead now.

So, for me, there is only God's Grace and that's all there is.

This is the basis of my existence in a human body on earth and the basis of my conscious reality.

So, though I am very logical and scientific and use the scientific method on literally everything, still my basis is that I live only by the Grace of God and that is my reality.

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