Temporary PTSD

I first noticed when I went into a panic attack when I was released from the hospital and went to the hotel that I had almost died in before going into the hospital needing I needed laparoscopic surgery for sure.

So, this was the first indication of a kind of Stockholm syndrome that I was dealing with. I am one of the most individualistic free thinkers you have ever experienced as you can tell from what I write here.

So, subjagating myself to the regimen of being a patient in a hospital without becoming an ass or a jerk to hospital employees really took some self discipline on my part and only one day was I in any danger of going into a sort of paranoid place about it all because the overwhelm of my physical condition was beyond what my mind and body could bear anymore without cracking up.

So, I handled this by talking to the Hospital Pastor who I told the stories to about meeting Archangel Michael and all the other major supernatural events of my life.

This "Witnessing before God" burned away by God any paranoia inside of me and I submitted to God's greater plan for me in tears at that point before God.

In other word's "Take me God! I'm yours!"

I give up.

So, this is how I avoided going into a paranoid state in the hospital.

However, being released after 5 days 24 hours a day care where they never let you sleep for more than one hour at a time because they are worried about you and where not being given any water to drink for 24 hours while choking on bile and heartburn became more of the norm. Being self disciplined to not sleep because it was just too likely I would die of reflux doing this was the norm.

However, following their sometimes incredible discipline of no water and no food at times just caused me to break down with tears rolling down my face in the self discipline of it all.

So, though I survived the operation and the recovery this left many psychological scars to deal with now.

Yesterday I almost had to go to the emergency room because of Edema. My doctor doubled my dose of Spironolactone instead so I now take 2 tablets of Spironolactone every 24 hours instead of one like before. However, this, causes serious changes where a man cannot think about women at all and sometimes if confronted I will cry like a woman. This is one side effect of taking so much spironolactone.

However, this is what I must do to avoid being admitted to the hospital once again and to retain my freedom of movement and actions.

However, I think this is a very shitty thing to have to endure even if it is only for 5 to 10 days.