I think it was studying how people were before organized religions like Christianity and Buddhism and others. When I studied this prehistoric time I found peace in being more like thinking like this. I started to understand that I was a natural Shaman and when I discovered this my life made a lot more sense than before. The definition that put me on the road to staying alive was this definition:
"A Shaman is a man or woman or child who has psychologically died but somehow their body still lives and because of this they live in the world of the living and the world of the dead and because of this they can sometimes heal people and help keep them alive."
This defined me exactly. I had never thought about it in this way before. Jesus was a shaman. Saint Francis of Asisi was a Shaman. Buddha was a Shaman. They all were shamans in the ancient sense of the word.
They were not just intellectual Saints. They were the real Thing!
And even though I'm not comparing myself to any of them I was and am the real thing too!
And I knew it even then the moment I read this definition of what a real Shaman is.
A Shaman is someone who died and their body lived somehow who sometimes God heals people through.
By God's Grace
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