Don't Give UP

A relative called me to tell me that they were going bankrupt. The new "Great Depression" or Recession from Hell or whatever you want to call it had finally killed their business and they had to lay off the last 3 employees last June. So, I tried to be as present as possible with my relative but someone over 40 with a family and a business in this position one really doesn't know what to do. When someone is under 30 and single you can sometimes help a person by loaning them your extra bedroom or foldout couch and some meals but once someone gets into their 30s, 40s and beyond and starts their own business or whatever and gets married and has kids or whatever you sort of have to let them work it all out because their lives just become so complicated that anything you tend to do might just make things worse or just be a complete waste of both money and time in the end simply because of just how complex lives get after 30 or 40.

So we talked about how he was riding off road motorcycles with is son who is a High School fulback on a varsity high school team and of how his wife needs a serious operation but freaked out and went to Canada to visit her friends for moral support before the operation. I could see he was just trying to make some sense, any sense out of what was happening in his life. I had introduced him to off road motorcycles when he was in his teens and I was about 16 years older. He said it had been so helpful just to take off out into the desert with his son on dirt roads. He said they rode 100 or more miles one day and over 60 the next. I said I could see him on some surfing beach someplace nice a few years from now after all the chaos in his life settled down.

I shared with him how I almost didn't survive my 40s either and how it wasn't until I almost died at 50 for 7 months while all my doctors didn't know what was wrong and then finally 7 month later they had said, "OH. We finally figured out that you have had a heart virus. But your heart has gotten over it and healed itself. You can live a pretty normal life now. I'm sorry you had to retire to stay alive."

I told him how precious each day of life is when you almost die and then recover. I told him that he was strong enough to go through all this and come out the other side okay. My Dad's side of the family which he is a part are all descended from pioneers since 1725 when they first landed in Philadelphia Harbor from England.

So, "There are no problems, only opportunity." That's the pioneer motto, at least the motto of those who settled the U.S. during the last several centuries. Those who didn't think this way didn't survive. Only those who never gave up  survived to raise their kids to adulthood. We are in times like this again.