If you are kind around the right people you aren't put down for being kind. It's about respect really. If you are around people who are more educated then being a Gentleman or a Lady is more important than almost anything else. I have seen this my whole life.
For example, my parents were ministers and taught me how to minister to people through example from ages 6 to 12 years of age and they ran a church in Los Angeles on Hope Street from 1954 until 1960 when my mother's father died and my Mom lost it for awhile after his death.
But, I followed my parents example so people often came to me for counseling even when I was a child (first other children) and later adults. Why?
Because I would listen to them as they told me their problems and then I would give them ideas on how to solve their problems.
I always(because I wasn't abused) and was intelligent like my father I could often help people solve their problems very easily because I wasn't in the middle of their problems. So, it was just that I could be very logical and reasonable always. So, I often told people how to solve their problems from about age 6 or 8 years old onward because I was capable of this.
Because I had already almost died at 2 of whooping cough I didn't want any other people to suffer as I had with this so I was always interested in trying to help people survive anything in their lives. So, if people trusted me to tell me their problems I held their problems as a sacred trust and tried to give the best Ideas I could come up with to help them survive their lives.
By giving people respect and kindness and helping them with their problems often your own problems wind up getting solved at the same time.
By God's Grace