Monday, April 30, 2018

Partisanship Kills

Whatever your position is the hatred you feel for other points of view will kill you first. If you understand this then you are forewarned.

I'm finding I have to step back now from strong points of view because they don't keep me alive while I'm trying to get well.

I had an experience with a heart virus in 1998 and 1999 where I was really angry about not getting full custody of my daughter who is now 29. I did get joint legal custody but she got primary physical custody and I got visitations and a few weeks during summer vacation and Christmas and Easter Vacation with my daughter who was born in 1989. She is now 29 and we often travel and ski or snorkel together around the world.

But then, my anger was extreme and it was killing me. I had to realize my anger was literally killing me and I had to choose to give it up so my other daughter then 2 1/2 would have a father growing up and also my older daughter would have a father too as well as my son born in 1974.

So, letting my anger go saved my life then in 1999. But, it was very hard giving up my anger even to God.

It's the same with partisanship. No matter your position if you are angry and hating anyone it is also killing you too.

Once you understand this you have more control of whether you are going to live through all this or not.

Or whether one day you will just pass on with a stroke or heart attack and then everyone you love will miss you.

It's your choice!

By God's Grace

Tears: Meditation on Impermanence

In my living room in my large built in book shelf that takes up one wall there are two buddhas. One is the normal style you see but a second "Copper Buddha" sits with the ashes of our three dogs who have passed away in little wooden boxes on the same shelf as the "Copper Buddha" in the Style of a Thailand Buddha. I was sitting in the kitchen after coming close to death this week myself and saw 3 of our dogs (one who died within two months ago) and tears starting going down my cheeks as I experienced God giving me a powerful powerful meditation of impermanence in my own life. As the tears came down my cheeks I felt myself becoming a better person and thinking what I could do to make a difference before I died (whether that is tomorrow or 1000 years from now or 10,000 years from now.

So, experiencing impermanence can make you a better person.

In India Gurus would often make their students watch a human body decompose for several months on the streets to teach them impermanence on the way to becoming a true master.

However, here in in the U.S. I think most Americans in present day would just go insane from sitting next to a corpse for 2 or 3 months while it decomposed there and was eaten by worms, flies, vultures etc.

So, I'm not recommending this for someone from Europe or the U.S. or any western Culture because death is so hidden from us in our cultures that insanity likely would be the only logical result because of our conditioning.

But, for me, today, seeing the little wooden boxes of the cremated remains of our 3 pets that have died since about 2005, 2015 and a couple of months ago was enough to bring me to tears because of my own near death experience this last week.

And this is a good thing and will inevitably make me a much better person ongoing.

By God's Grace

Buddha Bless you


What this meant in the 1960s and 1970s.

I was writing some comments on an article I quoted and published here recently and to to thinking about how the word "F***it" might not have the same meaning it did then.

What it meant then was often considered to be the "marijuana Attitude" which was:

If I don't finish College: F***it
If I don't get the job .      F***it
If I don't get the girl       F***it

In other words if things don't go the way I'm attached to I'm not going to Kill myself: F***it

It was very much involved in dealing with failures in your life without offing yourself. This is why this attitude can keep people alive who care too much to stay alive with their failures.

In life you learn much much more from your failures than you ever do from Success. In some ways Success too early can be completely counterproductive to you being a whole person in your life ever.

So, hitting failures when you are young might lead you to suicide if you have been trained that you cannot survive without succeeding every single time.

But, if you are dead you aren't going to succeed at anything ever are you?

So, surviving your failures is the key to success.

Because your failures (if you are smart) will usually teach you how to succeed. And we live in a country built on people who don't stop trying ever!

People go to college in their 80s and 90s here too and at every age from about 16 years old until they pass on.

Use your failures in life to become a success.

What is a success?

It is different for every single person in the end.

What is your definition of success?

Can you survive your definition of success?

If not you are dead. So, if you cannot survive your definition of success then you are just dead and stupid and nothing else.

So, maybe redefine your definition of success so you don't have to kill yourself?

Think about how narrow your criterea is.

In the end it matters Zero what anyone else thinks. It's what you think that counts.

Besides if you live long enough they will all be dead and you will still be around.

Something to think about!

All the people that made me feel so bad about myself and my life that I wanted to kill myself are all dead now from old age.

I'm alive and they have all died.

You are the one who is important here, not them.

If you buy into other people's criteria for you then you will kill yourself.

Instead become captain of your own ship and master of your own destiny.

F*** ALL those people driving you to suicide!

This is the attitude it takes to live on in Spite of all their bullshit!

Don't kill yourself! Get angry enough to survive all the idiots in your life!

F*** them! Stay Alive!

F*** their attitudes that almost killed you!

Be Strong! Stay alive!

For your sake, your parents sake and your friends sake!

Stay Alive!

Get Angry enough to be self disciplined like a soldier to stay alive through the hell times to something better.

My 20s were pretty difficult but my 30s were wonderful because I had learned enough about myself and the world to be happy raising my children. F*** people whoever they are whose ideas and attitudes are killing your.

Get Angry enough to survive their B******t. Be a captain of your own ship and a master of your own destiny.

Get Angry enough to stay alive in spite of all the idiots in your life!

Go your Own Way! Be Free and a Free Thinker. Don't take wooden nickels.

Be a captain of your own ship and master of your own destiny!

Pence's physician alerted White House about Ronny Jackson last fall

Ronny Jackson meets with Sen. Jon Tester on Capitol Hill on April 17, 2018.

The Vice President's doctor raised concerns about Trump's doctor last fall, alleging that he may have violated privacy protections for Karen Pence

Exclusive: Pence's doctor alerted WH aides about Ronny Jackson concerns last fall

Source: VA pick got drunk during overseas trip

Whistleblowers detail allegations against Jackson

Santorum: How could WH have known about Jackson?

Senator slams WH for 'sloppily' vetting Jackson

Trump taps White House doctor as VA secretary

Trump's physician offers glowing praise

WH doctor: Trump requested cognitive exam

Ronny Jackson is no longer Trump's doctor

Tester: White House called Jackson 'Candy Man'

Trump: Nobody has experience to run VA

WH staffers: Jackson handed out meds 'like candy'

Trump: Ronny Jackson treated very unfairly

Dr. Jackson gives statement on withdrawal

Source: VA pick got drunk during overseas trip

Whistleblowers detail allegations against Jackson

Santorum: How could WH have known about Jackson?

Senator slams WH for 'sloppily' vetting Jackson

Trump taps White House doctor as VA secretary

Trump's physician offers glowing praise

WH doctor: Trump requested cognitive exam

Ronny Jackson is no longer Trump's doctor

Tester: White House called Jackson 'Candy Man'

Trump: Nobody has experience to run VA

WH staffers: Jackson handed out meds 'like candy'

Trump: Ronny Jackson treated very unfairly

Dr. Jackson gives statement on withdrawal

Source: VA pick got drunk during overseas trip

Washington (CNN)Vice President Mike Pence's physician privately raised alarms within the White House last fall that President Donald Trump's doctor may have violated federal privacy protections for a key patient -- Pence's wife, Karen -- and intimidated the vice president's doctor during angry confrontations over the episode.
The previously unreported incident is the first sign that serious concerns about Ronny Jackson's conduct had reached the highest levels of the White House as far back as September -- months before White House aides furiously defended Jackson's professionalism, insisted he had been thoroughly vetted and argued allegations of misconduct amounted to unsubstantiated rumors.
Jackson and the White House have continued to deny allegations of misconduct, and Jackson's defenders in the White House said Monday that the episode involving Mrs. Pence was simply a dispute between two doctors with a strained relationship and that he had acted appropriately.
    According to copies of internal documents obtained by CNN, Pence's doctor accused Jackson of overstepping his authority and inappropriately intervening in a medical situation involving the second lady as well as potentially violating federal privacy rights by briefing White House staff and disclosing details to other medical providers -- but not appropriately consulting with the vice president's physician.
    The vice president's physician later wrote in a memo of feeling intimidated by an irate Jackson during a confrontation over the physician's concerns. The physician informed White House officials of being treated unprofessionally, describing a pattern of behavior from Jackson that made the physician "uncomfortable" and even consider resigning from the position.
    After Mrs. Pence's physician briefed her about the episode, she "also expressed concerns over the potential breach of privacy of her medical condition," the memo said. Karen Pence asked her physician to direct the vice president's top aide, Nick Ayers, to inform White House chief of staff John Kelly about the matter. Subsequent memos from Pence's doctor suggested Kelly was aware of the episode.
    A White House official said that Ayers informed Kelly and White House deputy chief of staff Joe Hagin about the situation and they said Pence's doctor should report the matter through the appropriate medical and military chains of command.
    Alyssa Farah, press secretary for the vice president, said Pence's physician "brought the issue to Mr. Ayers, who appropriately referred the matter to the proper channels."
    Farah added that Mrs. Pence "has been briefed on all the facts related to a private matter regarding her health care. She is grateful for the professional care she received from all White House medical personnel who resolved the matter quickly. She considers the matter closed and has no further comment on the situation."
    The vice president's physician did not respond to multiple inquiries seeking comment. A White House spokesman declined to comment.
    The memos were provided to CNN on the condition that the vice president's physician not be named and that the memos not be published. The documents were provided last fall to senior White House officials, including Ayers and Kelly, a source familiar with the matter said.
    Jackson, who had been Trump's lead physician and was also Trump's pick to head the Department of Veterans Affairs, withdrew his nomination last week after allegations surfaced of professional misconduct. Trump and Jackson have furiously denied the allegations, calling them an attempt to smear the reputation of a Navy rear admiral and respected White House physician.
    "He served 3 presidents," Trump said of Jackson Saturday evening at a Michigan rally, decrying "vicious rumors" against him. "President Obama said he was fantastic. President Bush said he was fantastic. I say he's fantastic."
    Current and former coworkers have accused Jackson of abusive behavior and professional misconduct in interviews with Democratic staff on the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee, which sources briefed on the matter say has investigated those episodes as well as the one involving Karen Pence. The Senate Armed Services Committee, which is considering Jackson's promotion in the Navy to become a two-star admiral, is aware of the incidents, according to sources familiar with the matter.
    The detailed memos provide a vivid account of both the incident and Jackson's alleged actions afterwards.
    In one of two tense encounters described in the memos, Jackson made the vice president's doctor feel uncomfortable with his "accusatory" tone, "unprofessionalism" and "intimidating" and "aggressive" behavior during their private meetings. Jackson told the doctor to "let the issue go" and to "let things go ... if I am to succeed in my career," the physician wrote.
    "This meeting summoned by Dr. Jackson appears to have been in retribution for me verbalizing concerns over the protection of the SLOTUS' medical information and his inappropriate involvement in the decision-making process of her care, which is consistent with previous behavior that I have received from him in the past," the memo says, referring to the second lady of the United States. "This unprofessionalism fosters a negative command climate that removes any opportunity for open, professional discussion."
    Jackson and the vice president's physician have long had a "strained relationship," according to a former White House medical official.
    The issue involving Karen Pence arose September 8, 2017, when a medical situation required her to be taken from Camp David -- where the President was slated to meet with his Cabinet -- to Walter Reed hospital. Even though Jackson is responsible for caring for Trump, he intervened in the situation involving Mrs. Pence, leading to "an inadvertent disclosure of SLOTUS' medical information in a situation where ultimate discretion was of utmost importance," according to the memo, which does not describe the information disclosed.
    Jackson asked for several reports on her condition from the physicians who initially treated her at Camp David, though the physician noted it was done "without malicious intent to circumvent their medical knowledge."
    Jackson then shared information with the senior medical providers involved in the matter, and according to the memo, briefed "multiple parties" on Trump's White House staff "without specific consultation from the physician to the vice president," prompting the concerns that he disclosed Mrs. Pence's private information. He made an order to call in the on-duty specialist at Walter Reed and made plans for her evacuation from Camp David, according to the memo, though he later denied doing so in a private meeting with the physician.
    On September 11, 2017, Pence's physician briefed Ayers about "this breach of her patient information" under the federal law known as the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, or HIPAA, by disclosing information to various parties. The physician was later directed by Mrs. Pence to tell Ayers to relay the information to Kelly, after the second lady expressed concerns about the potential her medical information was disclosed.
    "Dr. Jackson stated that it is not always possible to adhere to HIPAA at the White House," the memo said. The memo said that Jackson asserted to the physician that "he must be involved" in medical issues at Camp David and Walter Reed because they are "presidential assets" -- even if those medical issues don't involve the First Family.
    The White House has pushed back against previous suggestions that Jackson may have violated the privacy law while serving as a physician to the President. "Dr. Jackson's record as a White House physician has been impeccable," press secretary Sarah Sanders said at a press briefing last week. "In fact, because Dr. Jackson has worked within arm's reach of three Presidents, he has received more vetting than most nominees."
    But Jackson's behavior towards his colleagues -- particularly people who worked for him in the White House medical unit -- has also come under sharp scrutiny. According to the memos, the physician had two contentious meetings with Jackson.
    In one meeting, the physician wrote, Jackson "expressed anger" that White House officials -- including Kelly -- were aware of the physician's concerns over his involvement in the medical situation involving the second lady, the memo said.
    The next day, Jackson had another tense encounter with the physician, according to the memo. Jackson said that Kelly was "good with him and everything" -- and Jackson urged the doctor to let the matter go. The vice president's physician continued to raise concerns over Jackson's behavior, even suggesting resigning to avoid seeing him.
    After being informed of his "intimidating" behavior, Jackson "concurred with that statement, and responded that even his wife tells him he can be perceived as intimidating," the memo said.