But, in the 1960s and 1970s when people dated 10 to 20 times more people than now because AIDS hadn't arrived yet and herpes wasn't that big a thing and women started using birth control pills starting around 1960 when they became legal it was a different world than now.
So, "Ghosting" as they call it now was a real art in some ways and almost everyone I knew practiced what you might call ghosting at one time or another.
Here was the way people thought about it then:
"Life is an experiment. You don't want to marry someone until you find out if they are sexually compatible with you unless you want to be miserable the rest of your life or unfaithful. We all saw both things a lot growing up in the 1950s when most people seemed to get married from "Date rape or her getting pregnant and then a shotgun wedding."
So, experimenting with different relationships was a way to avoid a lifetime of hell. (At least this was what we all thought then. Often times, especially for men (and for some women too) it just became license for sleeping with as many people as possible from age 15 or 20 to whenever you decided to get married or not to get married at all.
So, what people now call ghosting then sort of worked like this: "You date with someone, you may or may not sleep with them and even if you do at any point you might not call them back-ever if you see this relationship cannot go anywhere good."
For me, it was mostly about practicality. Can this relationship go anywhere? How Far? For example, between age 15 and 25 when I got my live in girlfriend pregnant and got married I had sort of a science to all of this which went something like this: "UNLESS YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS PERSON ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS BREAK UP WITHIN 3 MONTHS".
WHY?
Because after 6 months it doesn't really matter whether you love this person or not or whether they are beautiful or not, you might not survive the breakup after 6 months and they might not either.
So, this was my personal rule about dating relationships. You absolutely MUST break up within 3 months if you cannot see how to make this a permanent relationship both for their sake as well as yours.
NOTE: This rule was made for when you were sleeping with this person one or more times a week for these 3 months time because you become very entwined with someone when you are sleeping with them on a regular basis.
This rule was made for me between ages 21 to 25 when it was imperative that I break a relationship off when we had been sleeping together for 3 months time and I saw it couldn't be permanent it had to end.
This rule was made so I and whoever I was with could physically and psychologically survive the end of this relationship. But, remember this was a much much different world than this one now but still you have to protect yourself and your significant other from self destruction if you call yourself a good human being. But, this is how it was done in my world from 1969 until 1973. Obviously, people have different thoughts and feelings maybe about all this now.
In the shorter term often things are much more obvious of what can work and what can't. You usually know it absolutely cannot work by the first few times you go out and then you either stop calling that person or you break up with them one of the two.
In the end relationships are about physical and psychological human survival. If you don't see this then maybe you shouldn't be dating anyone!
It's important to protect yourself and the people you are dating. Otherwise, someone is likely to die. Just remember suicide and homicide are two sides of the same coin. So, live responsibly so you and all your significant others along the way stay alive and happy and healthy too.
Are there some people too fragile to survive dating anyone?
Of course. You have to be grown up enough to spot people like this and not date them or you will be responsible for their deaths the rest of your life.
Why Am I not talking about Love in all of this?
Love isn't always survivable.
Often love is like two moths to a flame and both die either physically or psychologically in the end.
So, I took it to a different place of Practicality because I just saw so much death and suicide in friends in college and after over love. And almost took my own life for a few years myself over love not working out for me either. So, dating was how I stayed alive until I got married at 26.
What's important in a relationship?
That you don't kill each other.
That you have similar interests and hobbies.
That you are friends.
That you are sexually compatible.
If you have all these things you are going to love each other now, soon or eventually.
However, first love often kills people so watch out for this because seldom is it something that works.
But, if it does work then that's magic too but 95% of the time it turns into a disaster sooner or later mostly because of money usually (who has it, who wants it, who needs it, who is in control of it, or there isn't any).
Money is what destroys most relationships sooner or later for everyone.
Once you understand all this you are way ahead of the game.
So, Good Luck!
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