Visions Quest

Vision Quest. The Year for me of my vision quest was 1983. I had been to a Tibetan Lama 3 years before and realized I needed to be better grounded in the religions that sprang from the ground and were native to the North American Continent before I pursued Tibetan Buddhism. Somehow, when I met this particular Lama I knew that unless I was really grounded into the earth of North America I couldn't continue with the non-dualistic practices of Tibetan Buddhism. Especially, since I was raised a very dualistic almost fundamentalist Christian mystic by my father. I wouldn't have called myself anything but a new age Christian Mystic and a California Coastal Cosmic at the time. However, it's funny how one always sees things more clearly in retrospect.

So, my visions moving me toward enlightenment had led me to the Lama in Ashland Oregon. Next, I asked the Universe to provide a native American Medicine man to ground the all the power I knew I was going to have to invoke through Tibetan Buddhism so that it would only have good and helpful effects on all beings everywhere.

When I asked the universe for a Medicine man to teach me, he arrived in my life at a friends house within 3 weeks. He reminded me a lot of my father. He was a disciplinarian like my Dad. I was surprised that this was who God had sent me to study with.

Within 3 years of studying various places like on the South Fork of the Trinity River and Two Ravens in Idaho my best friends girlfriend decided she needed to do a vision quest with our medicine man watching over her.

I was the next to realize that I needed to do my vision quest. So I went to a place we all called among ourselves Eagle Cliffs (after all the Bald eagles that spent time there) on the south fork of the Trinity River. My wife decided to join me so we went into the sweat lodge and did four rounds in the Medicine Lodge. When we walked out the river next to us turned from blue to brown. The medicine man seemed nervous as this might be some kind of sign. To me, it just meant my karma was burning away and being washed down the river.

As my wife and I walked several miles up the river to a bear wallow next to the river where I had chosen to do my vision quest, we took no water, no food, only sleeping bags, matches, ground cloths and rain gear (in case it rained on us) which it did!
I survived that by getting under a huge fallen redwood tree to escape the rain. I was told by the medicine man that where I was going was a bear wallow and did I still want to go there. I said, "Yes. That is where my vision led me."

So, the first two days were very rough to get used to not eating or drinking water. My mind kept screaming, especially at night with no fire or lights, "You're going to die. What the BLANK are you doing!" I would reply to my mind, "I need to know what it is I am supposed to do with my life to make a difference." My mind screamed angrily at me but I would not give in or give up.

About 48 hours into praying and observing a lot and singing songs to help the vision quest, the night of the second day my visions began. They gave new meaning to the words wonderful and terrifying. However, I was shown many things about who I was and about my future.

The most meaningful all around vision was one in which I became a golden Dragon 50 to 100 feet tall. I kept breathing fire on thousands of people but I wasn't attacking them, I was enlightening them. When I breathed fire on them they smiled and were grateful to me for the sacred fire I breathed upon them.

I have written my whole life and I believe now the fire comes a lot through what I write. Some people are diminished by sharing their experiences with God. I'm not like that. When I share my experiences with people I know I have a 51% or better chance of a positive result. Because of this God often smiles upon my writings and everyone benefits. So I simply become more compassionate and kind and useful to God by breathing the sacred fire of sharing my personal relationship with God because God wishes it!

A vision quest, just like marriage or raising children is a very serious thing and should not be entered into lightly. Unless you are full of adult commitment to a good cause it shouldn't be done. Unless you are as serious at least as you are when you drive a car on a freeway in keeping yourself and others safe then it is not useful. That kind of focus like when driving a car is necessary for the best results.

I would like to share some of the amazing offbeat experiences in the altered state of no water or food after 2 or 3 days(We did a full 96 hours without food or water). One of my more amazing experiences was that first I was peeved at yellow jackets(hornets) that seemed to want to bother my prayers and meditations. However, I found that I could communicate with them in my altered state. I spoke to them in my mind. They wanted to clean my nose. I had heard Australian Aborignes doing something like this so I let them clean my nose. They crawled up inside and as long as I stayed calm they went about their business. It seemed like at one time they might have had a symbiotic relationship with humans in this way. One must know that if you would slap at one in this state you would be stung inside your nose. So if it tickled too much or was just too weird all one would have to do is move one's head or if that didn't work shake ones head to get them to leave you alone.

Other very interesting events were a family of Wood ducks(Mama and about 10 chicks)would swim down river at dawn and then upriver at sunset each day to a night safe haven.

Also, a mated pair of bald eagles flew overhead during our vision quest which was also a very good sign.

Being in a visionary state from not eating after the 2nd or 3rd night I kept thinking I was hearing bears in the middle of the night entering the bear wallow. I had a hard time with this. If they were there and saw us likely a black bear might figure because we were there they didn't want to be there even though it was their wallow.

Another interesting fact was that we were at least 5 miles or more from the nearest paved road, 3 miles from the nearest dirt road and we then walked up by walking in the river so we were not on any trail. we were located where there were no signs at all(visual or hearing) for four 4 days of any humans or human activity at all.

It was as if humans didn't exist at all besides us for 4 days.