Ashes in the Ocean

Since Mom died last fall I have waited with her ashes on my grand piano to put her ashes to rest. At first I wanted them to be on a mountain with my Dad. But realized I need to honor her wishes which was: "Anywhere in the ocean". So, finally I"m honoring my mother. I needed to wait for my son who has been busy in college to get some time off this summer and have time to process my mother's passing. Finally, this week he said he could deal with putting my mother's ashes to rest in the ocean as was her wish. I think if it were up to what I would want(if it was only me) I would like my Mother's ashes to always be on my piano listening to me, my daughter and others of my family play and sing like she used to do while singing with me and the rest of us, especially Christmas carols at Christmas.

However, there are many others including my mother that I have to listen to if I am to have a clear conscious and self respect. So soon my mothers ashes will be in the sea.

It has been a long road to get to this point and so in a way I am relieved. However, I'm not exactly sure how I will feel in the short and long run with Mom's ashes gone into the sea.

My 13 year old daughter said to me that I'm old fashioned and that I was about her age 50 years ago which is close to the truth as I'm now 61. But there is another statistic that says the later person has children the longer lives they tend to have. But for me, since I started at 26 and now have a 35 year old son, a 20 year old daughter and a 13 year old daughter(all biological) and two step kids and two goddaughters I feel my life has been greatly extended by all this family already. So, though MOm's ashes will be gone soon into the ocean I still have the rest of my near and extended family and friends and for this I am truly grateful every day.