Useful Self Conditioning

Most of our lives growing up we are conditioned in almost infinite ways by others whether they be parents, relatives, friends, associates. So, by the time I got to be in my 20s I was pretty upset at a lot of the conditioning I had had to endure. In some ways it doesn't really matter how well intentioned people were in conditioning us, oftentimes we are traumatized in various ways as adults by that conditioning. So, at a certain point one might have to say to oneself, "Does my conditioning serve me as an adult?" and second, "Does the conditioning I received serve other humans and animals and creatures as well?" In this way one enters into self responsibility.  Without being responsible for yourself and all your actions you will never be a useful or capable adult.

Sometimes, the very worst things that happen to one during their lives also catapult them into some of the best things in their lives. This was true of me as well. So, when I broke up with the girl I wanted to marry and was excommunicated from my childhood church at first I just got suicidal. But after a while I realized after really toughing it out for awhile that I had an incredible opportunity. Since my old life and world had ended I could create myself to be whoever I wanted to be. And this was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because I began to raise myself to be who I wanted me to be and not just what others had conditioned me to be. Their conditioning of me had almost cost me my life. So, it was now my turn to create myself into who I actually wanted to be. Over time I have perfected this skill. In some ways I guess you could call what I do positive self reinforcement or you could even call this a sophisticated prayer form depending upon your definition of what I do.

However, you label this to me it is being proactive in helping myself to a better life and in the  process helping  all others I come into contact into better lives.

The first thing you have to do is to start to eliminate sources of negative conditioning in your life. So, if you have people who say things like, "You never are going to amount to anything. You are worthless and stupid and useless and always will be." Then you have to move those people out of your life. Otherwise you will be only what they say. YOU have to realize what they are saying is a lie and that they have serious psychological problems and you have to somehow get away from them so you can parent yourself. You might not even be able to accept phone calls or texts from people who talk to you in this way.

When you find a way to separate temporarily or permanently from negative influences, you start by saying things to yourself like, "I love you (then say your own name). You have always been a good person and always will be a good person and I will love you always because you are a good and worthwhile person. And if anyone says otherwise I will get away from them as soon as I can."

So, in this way you begin to be an adult and to treat yourself with kindness. How can you be kind to others if you let others be cruel to you? It just isn't possible to be kind to yourself if you let others harm you psychologically all the time.

Another thing I often do is if I am nervous or upset about something I will comfort myself as if I was a child. I will say in my mind to myself, "It's okay Fred. Calm down. Everything is going to be okay." What you are actually doing is talking to the 2 year old or under inside yourself. Each of us never really lose any age we have ever been. So, the adult that we have become has to comfort the terrified little child we once were. By parenting yourself your mental and physical and emotional and spiritual health will increase. Also, getting enough exercise and watching what you eat to make sure it is healthy will keep you calmer and saner as well. Then when I was about 32 or 33 I found while hanging out with Tibetan Lamas in California, Oregon and India and Nepal that I really like just saying over and over the following:

May all beings attain bliss and the cause of bliss
May all beings be free from suffering and the cause of suffering
May all beings never be without the Supreme Bliss that is
Free from all Near and Far, all Grasping and Aversion

I found when I said this over and over in my mind my level of feelings of peace 24 hours a day increased incredibly and exponentially. Over time I began to experience this prayer as fact. By experiencing this prayer as being real all the time amazing realizations come all the time into one's life.

Also, I found I had an even more powerful experience if after each time "May All Beings" I added "In the Universe and in the past, present and future" etc.
So now often I will add this and have found this to be so incredibly powerful if given over and over while experiencing it as absolute truth manifesting that it is absolutely incredible.



Some of you might say to me, "Well. That's not real." I might say to you, "Is what you watch on Television real? Are horror movies real? Do you have any idea what watching that kind of stuff does to your inner child? However, I watched stuff like "Interview with a Vampire with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt" and Van Helsing" But I don't make a habit of watching stuff that will only tear up my subconscious and inner child. We all need our inner child healthy and at peace in order to accomplish anything useful in our lives.  The best thing I can tell you about this is what my parents told me which is, "What you put your attention upon you become." This says it all.