The Advantages of Being Shy

There is a Time magazine Cover and article about this out right now and so I thought this might be a good time to share my experiences of being shy. Of course I had another advantage in addition to being shy I was always very tall for my age, so the combination of being one of the tallest in my class always and being fairly shy always protected me in various ways. I can see that now looking back now.

First of all being shy can protect a person from a whole lot of dangerous people. Extroverts often say things that they shouldn't around dangerous people and then wind up with teeth knocked out as a result or worse. Whereas a shy person might (because they aren't talking) be sizing up all the people around them to ascertain whether any of these people are even safe to be around or if they are women if they are available for dating or whatever. So, shyness can be a distinct advantage in regard to both safety and looking for a mate.

In my own case because I was always tall by age 15 I was 6 foot 1 inches tall and by 21 I was 6 foot 4 1/2 inches tall. So, if I was around girls my age or older I would always listen to their problems like an older brother or friend rather than verbally accost women like many other guys I knew who were definitely extroverts would. My methods were almost always effective in gaining the trust of all the women I met, young or old. My mother used to say when I was 16. "You are a quiet nice boy 16 years old." I sort of liked this way of thinking because it was also true. So while I watched other boys offend women by being too aggressive I always wound up with one or more of the girls who confided in me their problems. This began when I was about 15 and continued until I was 25 and got married and had a son. I still found that I counseled my friends because I was always a very common sense person while also being very intuitive. Also, since I was an only child I always felt sort of lonely in this sense and helping others also seemed to help me with my problems and I felt healed as I helped others grapple with their problems and helped many friends and acquaintances move away from suicide, especially before age 25 when most people give up the idea of ending it all for one reason or another.

So, by being shy one can often work through their own problems by having enough time to think about things and not going into things half cocked like many extroverts tend to do and wind up injured or dead. Being shy one can often survive things that extroverts could not or would not because shy people tend to be more thoughtful about everything they do. They also tend to be more kind to others because they tend to have more sensitive and thoughtful natures. Shy people can tend to become writers because of the capacity for introspection which many extroverts might not have developed because they were always out partying and getting into trouble. So, I would say that there are advantages and problems with both being an extrovert or shy. But shy people tend to survive and extroverts often perish because they often take risks that they haven't thought enough about to survive. 40% of the heads of large companies tend to define themselves as shy people.

Also, just because people are shy doesn't mean that they also can't be dangerous, aggressive or take risks. It's just that shy people might take different types of risks than extroverted people would. For example, Shy people often are musicians, actors, rock climbers, stunt pilots, surfers, motorcycle enthusiasts, pilots, world travelers etc. They are just less likely to put themselves into ongoing extreme social situations all the time. They will tend to pick and choose carefully what social situations they will allow themselves to endure, unless those situations are required by their chosen livelihood or spouse or other extenuating circumstances.

There is even a historical label for this kind of person, "The Strong Silent Type" which typifies someone who is skilled and well qualified for any emergency or situation and who is not in the least interested in "Tooting his or her own horn"  verbally but mostly just interested in "Taking Care of Business" in whatever business or activity that might be on Earth or beyond. However, tooting your own horn does extend into writing for a shy person in a manifold of ways.