Grief

Grief is a hard one especially if you lose someone close to you.

But, it does not have to be a death. No.

There is grief from Divorce that is just as real as if your divorced partner has died. What has died is your relationship with them that was once so precious to you and still might be.

There is grief when people move away whether they be friends, children or parents if you don't want them to go.

There is grief when a pet you loved and thought you couldn't live without dies.

What is grief?

IS it anger?
IS it fear?
Is it loss?

Or is it all of these things and more.

I'm thinking the most damaging feeling if it is out of control is anger and rage.

However, grief if you can't get a handle on it can also ruin your life, your family, your profession, everything.

So, learning to manage grief is something we all have to learn to accomplish.

You can go wandering through your lives and never deal with grief of any real nature of anyone in your family or even a friend and suddenly, you might be faced with something you really can't deal with.

What are you going to do then?

I often think one of the reasons people die fairly young is they just cannot process all the grief of their lives.

For example, I never expected to survive my 20s or my 40s. But, instead of giving up completely I had to completely reinvent myself as a father and husband and to see myself completely differently than I ever had before to move on in my life.

But, now my youngest is 19 and my older children are 26 and 41 and living far away and my God Daughter is successful in life and living in Los Angeles it is hard sometimes because I miss them all living closer to me. Though my 19 year old is living with us right now she doesn't understand who I really am sort of as if I was a dinosaur or something.

She doesn't understand all the grief I feel for all the people I loved who have already died. She doesn't know how incredibly empty I feel for at least 50 people in my life who have died like Grandparents, parents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and friends. Even of my three best friends 2 have already died. I have one cousin I'm still close with that I go sailing with with my wife whenever we are in Southern California.

So, how could my 19 year old comprehend my feelings of grief and loss at this point in my life?

I wouldn't have even begun to understand all this until I was close to 30 myself because in your teens and early 20s you have to be so self centered and practical or you never will have a life of your own.

So, reaching out to her for empathy and understanding is completely useless at this point.

The one thing I want to tell you is. Grief Kills.

So, the sooner you learn to live with grief and learn to find something interesting that is different than grief to think about the better.

Because you don't have to go looking for grief because it will find you soon enough. You just have to find a way to keep on keeping on.

1. 7 STAGES OF GRIEF - Recover From Grief

   www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

   The 7 stages of grief outlines a comprehensive working model. Learn what to expect and when things should improve.

2. Coping with Grief and Loss: Understanding the...

   www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief...

   Coping with Grief and Loss Understanding the Grieving Process In This Article. Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful.