The Paradox of Narcissism

I had to laugh at myself as I read the

Hotchkiss' seven deadly sins of narcissism

1. Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
2. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
3. Arrogance:  .
4. Envy:  minimize the other person.
5. Entitlement:   narcissistic rage.
6. Exploitation:  
7. Bad boundaries 

(note: I left all the word buttons so you can read more about each problem with Narcissism if you wish).

What was funny to me was that as a man growing up in the 1950s unless you were somewhat narcissistic you were not going to succeed. In otherwords unless you believe in yourself (almost like a religion) you could never succeed and get anywhere in life without being a Type A person.

And a Type A person often resembles the 7 deadly sins of narcissism. Also to become a minister or priest you might need bad boundaries in order to empathize deeply enough with people to have compassion for them.

So, at a certain point I had to laugh because now whether you are a man or a woman if you are not in love with yourself at some level you will not succeed.

However, if you do not have compassion and empathy for others on top of this you are going to only harm others the rest of your life starting with your family and friends.

So, this then, becomes the paradox of narcissism.

Finding the balance in all this is how people actually succeed in life without alienating their family and friends.

And then my wife came home and said to me:

"Self Love and self Acceptance are not narcissism. Narcissism is self absorption where everything is only for the self and not really for anyone else."