I think it is because my wife is away visiting a life long friend since they were babies together.
So, my daughter likely misses her mother like our corgi is sitting by the den door waiting for my wife to come back sadly now too.
Yesterday, I found myself sort of having a panic attack because my wife was going to go away today. I couldn't figure out why I was having this reaction. It made no logical sense to me at all.
However, my wife left about 9 am this morning and I hadn't slept well last night so hadn't gotten up yet. So, by 11 am she was calling me and asking me questions because she obviously felt a little insecure to be 100 or more miles away going somewhere else too today. It was good she woke me up because my daughter had turned off my alarm to take my first medicine of the day so she really saved me a lot of trouble today by calling at 11 am or so which got me to take my first medicine because I can't eat for about an hour after I take my first medicine or it won't work. So, that meant I couldn't take my 2nd group of medicines until around noon and eat until then.
So, it all worked out. So, I guess now it's the dog that's upset my wife is not here at 7:30 pm Sunday night and my adult younger daughter also appears to be upset her mother is gone too.
My youngest daughter and I are both very opinionated and stubborn or determined people. So, we often have trouble communicating effectively because we are so similar in this way. I realized almost immediately this wasn't going to end well and tried to stop it but somehow this didn't work. But, finally we decided not to watch a movie together and she went back into her own room and things settled down.
But, it made me think about how I took a survival class in the 1980s and the single most important thing these Air Force Officers were teaching was that if you don't take an interest in your survival when your plane crashes you won't survive.
This attitude offended my daughter whereas it's just a way of thinking about life by taking an interest in what is going to keep you and your family alive. I told my daughter I expect most people on earth to die except in richer nations because of how humans actually are. I told my daughter that I expect wars over global Climate change and possibly over Covid and other pandemics too.
She didn't want to hear any of this and in some ways I don't blame her. It's a pretty cynical point of view I agree. But, it's what we all face this century too.
note: Later I realized I didn't explain why I was having a panic attack yesterday. My wife explained it to me today because she figured it out before me.
It was because except since June 2nd 2020 I was dying before then. I literally would be dead now (no questions asked) if I hadn't gotten my pacemaker put in then. So, from about 2018 onward I was dealing with end of life issues like not being able to breathe while sleeping and things like this which go along with CHF. However, now I have a pacemaker and I might live to 90 or 100 or further on that that.
It's quite a lot to adjust to from knowing you were dying to being resurrected again with 20 to 40 more years of life ahead of you.
Yesterday I couldn't figure this out so it took my wife explaining that for 3 to 5 years we were joined at the hip because I might not have survived her leaving like this during those times until June 2nd 2020.
Resurrecting is sort of like being Lazarus in the Bible. It's sort of like that because you have to find a way to come to life again after dying for years. It's a real job to come back from the dead. But, more and more people are doing this successfully. I meet people who are in their 90s or 100s with pacemakers all the time now in my life.
By God's Grace
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