Imagine this as a life growing up in the 1950s. My parents were Christians but raised me in a mystical Christian cult. They didn't believe in eating meat or fish but they did believe in reincarnation while still being mystical Christian. I couldn't wear the colors red or black and I couldn't have a cat or dog. If you were raised in the 1950s like I was you know that this was not something you wanted to talk about to your friends because of just how judgemental people could be then and how narrow people's thinking generally was then.
So, in the late 1960s when people started championing Eastern Religions which turned into eventually "New Age Thought" it wasn't popular like it has become since. Even in Los Angeles where "Anything Goes" this was something very new and different.
But, I found that I gravitated to many people who were college educated and "Experimental" in their thinking because it more closely resembled how I had been raised myself in a Mystical Christian Cult mostly in the Los Angeles area. I first embraced being a Surfer then because it attracted me to nature and to the ocean. I also embraced skiing even though at that time I still couldn't afford going to ski lifts yet. So, I embraced "Cross County skiing instead" which allowed me to ski without having to buy lift tickets.
Many people might think "Where is the snow in Los Angeles?" But, just remember there are 8000 to 9000 foot mountains in the Angeles National Forest right next to La Canada and Flintridge and Altadena and Pasadena. There is also further closer to Pomona is Mt. Baldy and further south Big Bear where there are ski lifts and one at mt. Baldy too down in the L.A. Area.
So, one day around 1971 I walked into the Palomar College Library and found a Psychology Today Magazine rack.
I picked up a Psychology today magazine and began reading it and found that I really needed to study psychology at that time.
Neither my parents or I had ever been to a psychologist ever in our lives because most people didn't do that then and instead if you were suffering you either talked for free to a priest or minister or you just stuffed your feelings like most people still did then.
But, when I started reading about psychology and how to heal myself I realized I might not have to commit suicide from the traumas of my life. So, reading psychology today I realized I could scientifically give up certain parts of my life and pride and stay alive rather than self destruct by 25 which I realized was the path I presently then was on.
I was taking Philosophy Classes and was an A student then in those classes and trying to find ways to stay alive. I always had girlfriends because I was tall and handsome but this didn't mean I had reason to stay alive for myself. It just meant I always had a girlfriend because I was handsome and I was always a good listener for whoever I was with at the time.
Getting permanently with any one women didn't make sense to me then because I sort of expected to die from one thing or another by 25 anyway at that point when I was 21 or 22 years old then.
By Studying to become a psychologist for several years time I was able to find ways to heal myself enough to get married and have a child by age 26 years of age.
When I look at people today they grow up much slower generally than people were forced to in my era.
I had many friends getting pregnant by age 15 and having to get married by age 16 as I was growing up which was kind of horrific for me to watch more than anything else then.
I knew I wasn't ready for marriage or being a father at 15 or 16 and was barely ready by age 26 when I actually became a father. So, I had to man up a lot even to be a good Dad when i was 26 years old.
One year I was dating a lot of women at age 25 and I even said to my male friends: "I guess I will always be dating a lot of women and never get married!" And one year later I was married with a son and this likely was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I had always wanted to be a father even though marriage didn't sound like what I wanted. So, marriage only worked for me in my life in as it related to being a father and the commitment one must have to their children to take care of them "No matter what!"
So, this "Taking care of one's kids no matter what" made me grow up and become the man I am now here at age 74 as a Grandfather of 2 grand kids now.
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