begin quote from:
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/oct/06/kevin-smith-how-are-you-going-to-get-laid-if-you-look-like-an-old-person
Kevin Smith: ‘How are you going to get laid if you look like an old person?’
The film-maker on his latest Clerks movie, his bromance with Alan Rickman, smoking weed – and the unexpected benefits of veganism
Would you like to direct an MCU or Star Wars movie? HBrint and Jay_Murpheus
No.
It’s a fool’s errand – you’re going to piss somebody off. Fandom is
rabid and tribal. When I worked on Masters of the Universe, I took a lot
of heat from people who felt like I had ruined their childhood. Going
near a Marvel or a Star Wars would make me insanely reticent. They’ve
got a billion people to make those movies, but nobody’s making Kevin Smith movies, so I might as well make them.
Are you still vegan? Hauntedsandwich
I
went vegan after my heart attack, four and a half years ago, and have
stayed vegan ever since. There have been moments when somebody has said,
“Oh, that’s got milk in it” and I’ve crumbled inside because I feel
like I’m cheating on my daughter, who brought me into veganism. The
beautiful thing about veganism is that it cuts you off from all the
foods that are fun and fattening, but you drop weight and look younger,
and in this world of appearances, that’s what it’s all about. How are
you going to get laid if you look like an old person?
What was it like working with Alan Rickman in Dogma? CWilliams1955
Bliss. Alan Rickman,
it turns out, was my friend. I was such a fan from the moment I saw him
in Die Hard. I assumed we were just associates, but he stayed in touch
the rest of his life. Whenever I was in England, he would call out of
the blue and say – I can’t do the voice: “I know you’re here, it’s time
to hang out.” He wasn’t just being professionally courteous because we
made a movie together 20 years ago. I still can’t believe Alan Rickman
actually liked me.
One of my favourite memories
is when he came to one of my shows at the O2 in London and we drove
back to town together. He said: “I’ve finally broken and bought an
apartment in New York.” I said: “That’s excellent.” He said: “It’s not
excellent, it’s in the same building as my friend Ralph.” I said: “Why
is that bad?” And he said: “Ralph Fiennes. If the Harry Potter world
found out that Snape and Voldemort live in the same building, they’d
burn it to the ground!”
Clerks III obviously brought up
some feelings from your heart scare. How did you feel watching it from
behind the camera, and what was the most challenging scene from the
original Clerks to recreate? ThisisDouch and Gareth0
You’ve
got to remember, I’m the ringmaster. It would be weird if I was
surprised when I found elephants at the circus. I wanted the cast to
know what it was like to be me – walking around in a stoner haze. When I
was writing it, I thought: “If I play my cards right, we’re going to be
standing in the exact same places and saying the exact same things as
we did nearly 30 years ago, and that’s going to be a mindfuck.” Sure
enough, when we got on to the set, Brian [O’Halloran, who plays Dante
Hicks], Jeff [Anderson, Randal Graves] and Jason [Mewes, Jay] each said:
“Oh my God. I stood here 30 years ago and said the exact same thing.”
Why did you make Bob (mostly) silent? ThePhantomPigeon and wellywearer2
Bob
is silent solely so you can focus on Jay, who is based on Jason Mewes
when he was 16: a stream-of-consciousness chatter. I didn’t need Jay to
have conversations, I just needed somebody he could orate to. The kids
who hang out outside the convenience stores dealing weed always have a
bigger, quieter kid with them, who I’ve always assumed was the muscle. I
thought: “I’ve got to give this guy some muscle in the form of this
silent dude.”
What inspired the “stink palm”, and who would you most like to give one to? Bauhaus66 and randomlexis
The
stink palm was invented for Mallrats. It’s not even one of my proudest
jokes, but, boy, it’s lasted. Nobody ever did it to me and I never did
it to anybody. It just seemed like a weird, gross thing to do. Who would
deserve one in real life? That’s tough, man. I try not to wish ill on
anybody.
Would you have had the same
career trajectory had you been born in the 21st century, or did you
arrive at the perfect moment between VHS and DVD? Ajyates33
I
arrived at the perfect moment between film-making and YouTubing. I was
the last through the door where they said: “Hey, this kid has made a
thing, isn’t that incredible?” Five years later, the floodgates would
have opened and there would have been a billion mes. My voice would have
been totally lost in the 21st-century sea of far more talented
YouTubers and TikTokers. I look at TikTok and thank the Lord I was
Cinderella-ed in, like they did in the 80s and 90s.
Is that Gumtree/Walrus story actually true? TurangaLeela2
It’s
100% true. Chris Parkinson – who we made associate producer – decided
to write this prank piece on gumtree.co.uk where this guy was offering a
room in his mansion for free, but for one hour a day you had to dress
in what he described as “an incredibly realistic walrus costume”. So we
spun Tusk out of that.
You are an excellent film-maker but an even better raconteur. Discuss. PaulMariner
I
agree 100%: I’m a way better talker than film-maker. I would stop
making films, but then I’d have nothing to recount. Ironically, I make
more money standing on stage talking about making movies than I do from
actually making movies. I’ve backed into standup comedy, thanks to
film-making. It’s like the universe is telling me: your movies are cute,
but you’re best at talking.
Does your wife give you a hard time for the way you dress? Pitkin88
My
wife gave up with my sartorial splendour a long time ago. Looking at
how I’ve been attired for the last 24 years, hats off to her, because I
looked fucking terrible wearing a sleeveless, zip-down hoodie, hockey
jersey and basketball shooters. She never once said: “I have to stand
next to you on a red carpet looking like that?” So God bless her.
Would you rather have friends in high places or high friends in places? HaoTian
Friends in high places are costly, but you’ll never go wrong with high friends in places.
Regrets? cjmadden
Even the movies that don’t work eventually work out. Mallrats was a huge flop at the box office, so you’ve got to eat shit for a while. Professionally, no regrets. Personally, I wish I’d known my father better. We were close, but he wasn’t as open as I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve – there ain’t nothing my kid doesn’t not know about me. But my father is still something of a mystery. He never encouraged me to make movies – I was an idiot kid – but sitting next to him in the dark watching movies is how I learned a lot about humanity. You learn a lot about someone if, as a child, you watch what makes a grown man laugh and cry. I remember him crying at Raging Bull and thinking: “You’re allowed to cry at a pretend story and that’s OK?” That’s tacit permission to fall in love with art.
Was it really the death of your dog that made you turn your back on your Catholic upbringing? TopTramp
Dogma made me turn my back on my Catholic upbringing. My dog died years later. By then, my relationship with the Lord and religion was already at a different place. You’re fed lines from a young age and accept it as God’s given truth. When you get older, you think: “This is only true because somebody told me it was true as a kid.” Even after Dogma, I was still holding on to the idea of God and heaven, but it slowly slipped away. I miss it sometimes. When I meet spiritual people, I always feel for them because I miss believing in that shit. There’s a simplicity, comfort and romanticism to knowing what’s going to happen when you leave this world. Now I realise I’m just going to rot in the ground and am not going to be reunited with my dead dad or dog. Much as I like being pragmatic, it was beautiful to have believed for as long as I did.
What are the chances of your Prince documentary emerging? McScootikins
Very
high. The director of OJ: Made in America is making a documentary for
Netflix, and came to the house to interview me. When they went to the
vaults after Prince died, they found so much unreleased music and so
many music videos, but the only footage of him talking was what I shot.
It’s extraordinary: he acts differently to how he ever acted in his
entire life, and he talks for hours and hours. It looks like it’s
finally going to see the light.
Is smoking weed good for creativity? JohnnyTextface
Smoking
weed doesn’t make you creative. What it does is mow down inhibition,
and that’s very powerful when taking pen in hand. You have a zillion
good ideas, then it’s the second voice that shouts them down: “Why would
anyone be interested in that?” You listen to that voice because it’s
easier to believe the negative than the positive. Weed allows you to
take the hit and smoke the second voice down: “So what if it’s stupid?
Let’s give it a shot, man.” You work through the inhibition and suddenly
you’re doing things creatively on the page that you wouldn’t normally.
No comments:
Post a Comment