I thought this might be useful to many of you who might give up hope when faced with serious illnesses:
I woke up in fall of 1998 knowing something was seriously wrong and that I might die that day. I went into the bathroom and my lips were blue and I could barely feel my arms. I called my son to come get me and take me to the hospital. My father had died in an ambulance so I knew calling an ambulance I might not survive. You have to survive your own process or you are dead anyway.
As I waited for my son I told my neighbor that I might be dying or having a heart attack or something so he could call an ambulance or notify next of kin if necessary. I returned to my living room and was met by many white light angels there. At this point I believed I was dying but then the angels started speaking to me loudly they said all in unison: "You aren't going to die! Your life will get better now!"
And they were right starting in May of 1999. But, from Fall of 1998 until May of 1999 I believed might die simply because I had to pass out many times and had to use a special disconnection meditation technique I had learned not to panic and die. Panicking when they are passing out as everything goes black kills most people with heart viruses. So, they are only diagnosed by a post mortem (after death) of having had a heart virus.
So, my meditation studies literally saved my life at being able to control my emotions so I didn't panic and literally die then.
If you panic while passing out with a heart virus you will die because of the way human bodies are designed.
I often tell people in person or here at this site is the most dangerous thing for someone older than 45 is panic because: PANIC KILLS!
After they told me I wasn't going to die in May of 1999 I went to Europe with my mother and 10 year old daughter. My wife decided to stay home with our 2 1/2 year old which in retrospect was a very wise idea looking back from now because we didn't know my mother was starting to mentally decline and this was very difficult starting in Europe when we landed in Germany in Munich. However, my mother was okay until we landed in Germany but wouldn't leave the motor home (sleeps up to 8 people) there in Munich.
Then after 3 weeks in Scotland, England, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Italy in the motor home we returned through London back to San Francisco.
Taking this trip was important for me for me to realize I was still alive and hadn't died the previous year. It was a celebration of life even though it was the beginning of losing my mother (at least mentally) at that point.
But, the good part is that it made my 10 year old Daughter a world Traveler from these three weeks. She eventually married someone from the Alps who is a lawyer and has a new daughter there. She is around 35 years old now.
Surviving was hard physically though from 1999 to 2006 because I was slowly losing my mother who I was always very close to especially because my father had passed away in 1985 in the summer at age 69.
But, something good happened in 2006 so I knew I wasn't going to die which was I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. And taking armour thyroid for the first time was like my mind went back to being 20 years old again.
I was reborn!
After that I realized I wasn't going to die at least at 60 and I realized I might live to 70 or more then.
There have been many other things like my burst appendix in 2015 when I got back from snorkeling with friends on the Big Island of Hawaii near Kona, Hawaii and we also visited Hilo, Hawaii where I used to live with my first wife and my friends played a concert there because they are musicians.
However, 2015 was very difficult with serious Medical PTSD from my burst appendix and operation and then sleep deprivation for a month from coughing all the time because of the tubes they put into my lungs to prevent reflux from killing me while on the operating table for a laproscopic Appendix removal surgury.
Though other things have happened since then, these were the worst things I had to survive in many ways.
Though one was especially bad in 2022 when I was at the hospital knowing I might die that day from Atrial Fibrillation. I hadn't wanted to take Amiodarone because me made me feel like I had been lobotomized and walking and driving a car were almost impossible on this medication. However, after a Cardioversion (basically your heart gets tasered) and you either die or get better. (I got better as long as I took amiodarone to prevent atrial fibrillation. And I was able to adapt physically to the medication with no obvious ill effects within 2 weeks time. So, if you need to take Amiodarone it's much better than dying (At least from my point of view). I'm ONLY alive because I have been taking Amiodarone for the past 2 plus years). By God's Grace
So, here we are in 2025 and by being adaptable and as calm as I could through everything and not panicking no matter what happened through deep meditations I'm still alive at age 76.
By God's Grace
I think God might want me to live a really long time
By God's Grace
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