Self Discovery through Cultural Anthropology?

I was having trouble staying alive between 1969 and 1973. It was the most difficult the first couple of years. I found one way (because I was tall and handsome and always had a way with the ladies) was to always make sure I had a girlfriend that loved me. This was just logical to me as a way to stay alive. Relationships were different during those times because of Birth Control pills and people being so experimental. It wasn't that it didn't damage people then when I look back in retrospect. It was just the times were very destructive because of all the changes to people. So, reaching out for companionship and sexual relationships was one way (especially in college) that people in California and throughout the U.S. survived those times.

I was going to Palomar College in San Marcos in San Diego County from 1971 to 1973. I found it an incredibly useful and healing experience in general. I had relegated computer science to a hobby because even though my logical mind loved it I saw it was destructive as a career to me surviving in a human body on earth then during those times. So, I stopped working in that field and went back to college to learn more about myself, enlightenment, and my thought at the time was that I should become a psychologist to help other supernaturally developed people survive their teens and 20s so they didn't die directly or indirectly through taking risks or taking drugs or whatever self destructive behavior tended to kill people then before they were 30. (There were many of these ways then). Probably even more than now.

So, one of the courses I took that helped me understand who I was and my relationship to the world (as in being used to the people and life on earth) was to begin to understand that I was a natural shaman).

I really didn't know what that was before I took a course in "Cultural Anthropology". However, as I was reading my Cultural Anthropology textbook there came a definition of a natural shaman as I studied more primitive cultures around the world. There is was: "Shaman: Someone who had psychologically died but their body still lives" As I read on I saw the definition of my life, "Because this person has died but their body still lives they become  proficient in both the world of the living and the world of the dead. They often are able to communicate with the dead because of this state of being and help the living to survive their lives better here on earth and also help those who have just died to transit their transitory states between life and death."

There it was in my "Cultural Anthropology" book. There was what I naturally was: "A Natural Shaman".

This seemed very paradoxical to me at the time because it seemed to me that unless I was the member of some tribe I couldn't really see how this would be helpful. Over time I came to realize that I was of the American Tribe of people and the Earth Tribe of people as well as the California Tribe of people and at that time the Southern California Coastal tribe of people etc.

So, this meant I could help people everywhere I was with my growing skills which would make them less afraid of both living and dying because death had stopped being something to be afraid of for me. In fact I welcomed death in my life at that time. Life was in some ways to me the scariest thing because as long as I was alive in a human body I might harm people accidentally and I wanted to harm no one because I really believed strongly in karma at that time. So, what really scared me then was Living and Karma because I was a very intense full of life person and unsure of what my abilities set loose on the world would actually do.

I hadn't yet come to terms with non-dualism which finally gave me peace in being who I was nor did I yet make a full commitment towards compassion towards all beings in the past, present and future of the universe, nor had I taken Ahimsa vows not to harm any living thing. (This by the way is very difficult. I find I have a lot of difficulty not taking out flies and mosquitos and some spiders that bite my family.) So, I basically believe in self defense in that if a spider will allow me to take him or her outside then it can live outside in my backyard. But, if it is going to keep fighting me and not allow me to do this then the spider is gone. So, practicality here is important when dealing with all beings even after taking ahimsa vows (which means you have taken vows not to kill anything anymore).

So, by studying Cultural Anthropology I found out who I was at core in a human body here on earth.
By being able to define the core being I was I realized my purpose on earth was to help people stay alive and to help people deal with death because death held no fear for me anymore. Only Life did.

At this point it is more like at 65 neither life or death holds fear for me. I'm more concerned about people freaking out while they are living or dead. So, I try to calm people down so they don't panic and harm themselves or others. It's like you are driving down the road and see a fatal car accident. If you freak out while driving you are just going create other accidents with other people on the road. So, learning to stay calm in literally all situations to be able to maintain focus and level headed is very important not only to your well being but also to the well being of all those around you both living and dead. So, learning to have compassion for yourself and all other beings is a good start on this ongoing calmness and focus necessary to create positive things ongoing in your life and others.