Thursday, January 29, 2009

If you Lose your Jobs

I was inspired to write this in memory of the 5 families that have committed suicide in southern California unable to cope with the financial downturn.

First of all the last family of 7 to die could have gone to a lawyer and declared a Chapter 13 bankruptcy or if they wanted to live in a tent in the woods or under a bridge a chapter 7 bankruptcy. However, once they were both fired they couldn't get Unemployment compensation which likely triggered the family suicide.

I would like to say that one doesn't know what one is capable of surviving until one has to. I can say this from personal experience. It helps to believe in God to survive bad times but many who don't survive anyway. Also, 'there are no atheists in foxholes'. In other words if things get bad enough everyone cries out to God just to stay sane even if they become atheists again the next day.

Also, I have been through a 4 day vision quest with no water and no food in 1983. So I can say to you that even without food or water for about 4 days if you are in the right environment(away from people who might hurt you) you likely will survive even that even if the lack of food and water makes you hallucinate a little.

I think the primary problem is when people who have known nothing but school and their job and are not naturally multi-dimentional hit these kinds of circumstances they feel their lives are over and because they believe it, it comes true. You have to believe you have at least a chance of surviving something to attempt to survive it.

There is an old story about sailors of old when their ships sank. the sailors older than 27 to 30 were the ones likely to survive. The reason for this is younger sailors hadn't been close to death that many times. Whereas older sailors might survive because they had already had so many close calls with death they knew they might just survive this too.

I had a very bad experience from 1990 until 1995. I was raising 4 children(two biologically mine) from a baby to a 19 year old in 1990 to a 5 year old and a 24 year old in 1995. We had several bad economic setbacks in a row and our marriage finally couldn't withstand it anymore. In June 1994 I saw my marriage as over and was so despondent I went to a Wilderness area alone with my backpack and tent with the intention of fasting until I died. I didn't eat although I did drink water for 4 days while I prayed then in June 1994. Finally, I realized it didn't matter how difficult it was for me that I had to try to get custody of my then 5 year old daughter because she wasn't safe in her life. This decision saved my life and this became the focus of the next 10 years of my life. This decision rallied many old and new friends to my side. Even though this resulted in a Chapter 13 Bankruptcy from trying to get custody of my youngest daughter I honored my vow to my daughter even if it was going to kill me which it almost did. It inspired someone new in my life to also help me and after my divorce we married and had another daughter. In 1998 I got a heart virus and almost died. First, my new wife's stepmother died, then two months later her mother died while my wife had a miscarriage because of her mother's death. The next month I found out from my doctor that I wasn't going to die like I had been told by my doctors for 7 months. I was forced to retire but luckily we were okay financially by then for me to retire. Two years ago my doctors finally found out(after 20 years) that my thyroid gland hadn't been working right since I was in my late 30s and was part of the reason why I had had a heart virus and multiple other complications since my late 30s. None the less from 1998 to the present have been the most peaceful and content of my life. By 1996 or 7 I obtained joint legal custody of my youngest daughter which meant I could see her about 10 weeks a year total. I got her to come back to California so I was always within 9 hours drive of my daughter and visited her at least 1 weekend a month and at least 2 weeks a year on vacation each year. When my wife's father passed on she spent a month with us and was the most useful person there to all of us. She is 19 now. When my mother passed on she went with my new 12 year old daughter (her half sister) to where my father ashes are and the three of us had a conversation with my Dad that has been gone since 1985 now.

What I'm trying to get at here is that you really don't know what you can survive until you have to. I never would have believed I could have survived everything I went through from age 40 on until now when I'm 60. If you had told me this when I was 39 I would have said, "You're lying." Because if I had believed you I would have just driven my car off a cliff and that would have been that. Once again, "You just don't know what you can survive until you have no other choice."

No comments: