I can remember being 21 and really wanting to be dead. But, I also loved my family and friends and girlfriends and knew I could not do that to them because I always was a very empathetic person. So, even though I wanted to soon be dead I could not do that and live with myself. I know this sounds funny but I forced myself to stay alive rather than harm my parents and my friends and girlfriends with my own death.
So, staying alive in my 20s was caused by my empathy for others so I forced myself to stay alive until I could create a better life for myself where I actually wanted to be alive.
When did I begin to want to be alive?
I think when my son was born when I was 26 I realized I wasn't just living for myself anymore and I needed to think differently and sacrifice for my son so he could grow up in a healthy way.
So, actually putting other people's needs above my own I was able to stay alive and survive my 20s.
And by my early 30s I was really happily married and raising my son and life was really great until my father died when I was 37.
However, these 7 really good years made me see that life could really be good and worthwhile to go on living. These 7 good years gave me hope as my son and step kids and then another daughter and then another was born between 1974 and 1996.
So, in making my life about my children more than about myself I found my life become worldwhile in my own eyes.
It's true not everyone is a family man like myself.
For me, living my life for my children worked for me along with starting businesses to support them.
We all have to find our own way forward after all.
But, the most important thing always is:
"Without Hope the People Perish"
And with Trump there is no hope only the death and suffering of millions of innocent people.
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