What Does God Want You to Do?

Fall 1998. What would you think? I woke up one morning on the northern coast of California within a couple of hours of San Francisco by car. I felt very strange. My wife had gone to work and I walked into the bathroom and noticed I couldn't feel my arms very well and my lips were tingling. I called my son and told him he needed to drive over and take me to the hospital. He was 24 then and I was 50. I walked into the living room and wondered if I would die before he got there. I had remarried in 1995 and we had a daughter who was still a toddler. I thought, "I need to live on for my daughter and wife and then rest of my partially grown and grown kids." However, as I sat waiting for my son to take me to the hospital I saw the white light oval forms of angels. I had long ago lost the ability to see angel faces like I did when I was 2, but I could still see the oval light shapes that I knew to be angels. They encircled me so I thought I was dying and prepared for my death internally. However, they began speaking to me loudly in unison.

There were either 7, 9 or 12 of them. However, since I was busily preparing for death I was in a slightly different state of mind so it is difficult now to know for sure. They began to say in unison, "You are not going to die. Your life will get better now!" They kept saying this over and over again. I began to understand that I would have died right then or soon if they hadn't said this to me, I have learned since Archangel Michael came to my grandmother and me one Christmas time in 1950 when I was about 2 when she was singing "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" and I was lying down in her lap in a stuffed rocking chair to always take what angels do or say very seriously. So, I obeyed what they said and allowed it to sink in that I wasn't dying, just changing.

I went outside and talked to a neighbor then and told him I had sent for my son and could he just wait with me in case I fainted and went unconscious? He talked to me until my son came and we went to the hospital and I told the doctors and nurses about the angels. Like I said when something happens like this you are not in a "normal" state of mind. On one level I still was preparing to die so what I was talking about I associated with my next life not this one anymore. In a way my old life died during the next 6 months.

I was conscious when I was sent to Stanford Medical near Stanford University and had an angiogram. I was conscious and watched them put a wire with a camera up an artery in my upper thigh and up into my heart to look around there. The doctor said everyone was jealous as I had the clearest arteries and veins anyone had ever seen in an adult. I said I had been raised from birth a lacto-ovo vegetarian until I was 32 years old and was still about a 95% vegetarian. Later one of my heart specialists told me it was one of the reasons I survived my heart virus. Actually, most people I have heard of with heart viruses died both young and old.

I had studied with Tibetan Lamas and knew a disconnecting meditation so when I started to panic when I couldn't oxygenate even if I breathed as hard and fast as I could and knew I would pass out I learned to disconnect because if I went into panic I knew I would die. This is what killed all the others I knew of with heart viruses.

So, I survived when others didn't. God wanted me to write I think and to publish online. I have always felt that I'm not only writing for the present people on earth but also for the future and the past people too as well as people throughout the galaxy. Somehow God is connecting everyone together through my writing. As an intuitive I can feel this happening. I believe God made me stay alive after scaring me literally to death so I could see just how stupid it was to be too afraid to publish what he had me write.

My epiphany came in Stanford Medical in the preparation room. I felt the terror of the 50 or so patients all on their own gurneys there. Some were just going to have an angiogram which is the least scary but many there were in for open heart surgery and were very scared. I was grateful that I checked in for two procedures at 8 am and that I would likely be released from the hospital by 9 pm that same day. I thought this was some kind of technological miracle because it was.

The second procedure was very hard for me, it was electrical heart stimulation. The doctor that did it was considered the best in the country. However, the nurses who were giving me anesthetics I asked not to give me anymore because I was getting too high and didn't like it. The nurse just got a strange smile on her face and opened wide the IV cock which slammed me into a world I had never been before without time. This drug allows people to feel pain and to tell the doctor if something is wrong but the patient basically has no concept of time or space. It was very strange but then I woke up and was angry that the nurse had to drug me so deeply. But then I remembered, she had said, "We have to drug you deeply enough so you don't jump off the gurney in reflexes when we shock your heart to see what's wrong with it.

The doctor came out and misspoke telling my wife, "We couldn't do anything for him."
As my wife began to faint my son caught her while my toddler daughter watched. The doctor corrected himself quickly by saying, "NO. He's okay. It's just there is no way I can correct any of his heart problems. He has an irregular heartbeat but I can't correct that and we still don't know what's wrong with him."

5 months later one of my heart specialists said, "Through the process of elimination we have realized that you had a heart virus. Your heart has healed itself. People don't usually get a heart virus twice for some reason so you might now live into your 80s or 90s." Since I had already retired as I thought I was dying 7 months before, this was great news. I would be able to see my little daughter grow up and be there for my wife and older children. The angels were right. My life did get better I wasn't going to die. So I keep writing because I believe that is why God saved my life this time.

So, what does God want you to Do? Will he scare you to death like he did me or do you already know what it is that he wants you to do?