Cording

There is a caveat here. If you don't have a strong stomach then don't read this.

When my mother got senile dementia she almost burnt down her home. At that point I and my relatives had no real choice other than to put her in an Alzheimer's and senile dementia facility. Over the 9 years she lived past getting senile dementia which is literally hardening of the arteries of the brain and often preventable with B-12 shots starting in ones 50s or so about once a month.

So as she slowly regressed back down through teenage to child to small child and finally to baby and passing on at some point along the way I woke up at night and found my mother's spirit Cording with me. In other words she somehow created a silver cord like a umbilical cord only in spirit and connected it to the lower part of my heart. At first I was frightened and very disturbed by this and sought help from other intuitives. Many intuitives said I should make intense prayers and cut this cord. However, then I talked to a friend who had studied with native American Medicine men and Tibetan Lamas along with me during the 1980s. He said, "Fred. You're a shaman. Just deal with it. You mother is obviously scared and is reaching out to you for help. Just deal with it." That was what I needed to hear. I realized that I was no longer afraid for my mother since she had connected with me in this way and I didn't feel like I had lost her so much anymore. I decided to be here anchor in the physical so her way would be less hard.

However, last fall as I was taking my wife's father's ashes to Saint Louis for internment with his parents and I was changing flights in Los Angeles, I got a cell phone call and was told that my mother had died. Since my first priority had to be the sanity and stability of my wife and family I told the mortuary to put my mother's body on ice until I returned from Saint Louis with my wife and daughter. So one week later I returned and participated in the cremation of my mother. I opened the plastic and kissed my mother goodbye for she was now a human body popsicle and then shoved her into the furnace and turned the furnace on. Because it was so loud I walked outside with my wife who was there to walk me through this. I thought how my mother would like the idea of turning into smoke blowing out of a 1 foot wide smokestack into the sky from the furnace. A few days later we went by to pick up her ashes. They have remained on my grand piano in my living room ever since.

Because of having to deal with a funeral (3 different ones) I was funeraled out so we didn't wind of having a service for my mother yet. So her ashes have waited patiently for the next step. Meanwhile another friend of mine who is also an intuitive has kept her mother's ashes with her for over 20 years now and she is now 82. Lately, I have realized that my mother wants her ashes in the ocean. The biggest problem is my son who sort of saw her as his own mother and hasn't processed her death like I have and won't give me permission to put her in the ocean yet. It's time for her to be put to rest in the ocean like she wanted. I'm clear about that but don't really want to upset my son either. If it were up to just me I would probably just keep my Mom's ashes on the Grand Piano indefinitely. But it isn't okay with my wife and I sense my mother really needs her ashes to move on into the ocean.

Today I sensed my mother trying to say goodbye to me so I brought her ashes as I headed south to our second home. On the way she said it hurt a lot to be cremated even though it was over 7 days after she died. She said she retreated into her body like people do when they sleep deeply and it was a very rude awakening to be burnt up like that. She just wanted me to know that it hurt for future reference. I don't think that means we should all bury the dead and let the worms get them either. I actually don't know what to do with that information except to relay it because it is her wish. My mother and I were always very close. She was also very close with my son. So moving on is hard for me but I owe it to my mother to put her remains in the ocean like she wished.