Why Does one Write?

One reason is to try to make one's internal world congruent with one's external one.

I have seen a whole lot of people just kind of say to themselves, "The whole world doesn't make any sense so I'm just going to drown in Beer and alcohol and/or drugs and forget it." You would be surprised at how many people do just this in their spare time from working. And maybe you wouldn't be surprised just how many people don't survive this tactic even in their 20s. One of my sons good friends died somewhere between 27 and 29 because of this. And I watched many more "check out" in their teens and 20s when I was young in the 1960s and 1970s in Southern California on the coast.

Did I survive those years because I write? It wasn't the only reason but it was one of them. Because I wrote journals sort of to myself and later read them. So, when I was either upset or had major realizations about life I would write. And later when I read what I wrote I felt better and my life made more sense and I could understand better myself and all the people and experiences around me. So, writing, if you are honest enough with yourself can be  very healing in the extreme.

When I first wrote about Arcane I had walked home to a house I was renting with my wife and kids in 1980 when I was 32 in the beautiful little town of Mt. Shasta, California. I had been visiting here on vacations with my parents from Seattle and then San Diego and then Los Angeles from 1957 until 1969 when I was 21. So, as an adult when I got married I wanted to live in this beautiful place where I could ski in the winter, and hike and swim in clear fresh mountain lakes in the summertime where I could eat wild blackberries off of bushes along roads in the fall and a little earlier eat wild thimbleberries deep in the forests of the area, or swim in Castle lake in the summer or ski across the ice in the winter, or hike up to Horse Camp on Mt. Shasta and ski down or walk through panther meadows following the spring or hike over to Squaw Valley in the summer with my backpack and camp there with my family.

So, one summer day I walked over to a local health food store that was next to the Cemetery there then called Pine Grove (it has since moved into town and is called Berryvale). They put all my health food groceries into a large brown paper bag. As I walked home 1/2 mile away towards Old Stage Road I got the idea of writing what I thought then was Science fiction. But, I wanted to write something that was healing for myself. So, when I reached home and put perishables into the refrigerator I brought the paper bag outside with some corn chips in it and proceeded to write the first story of Arcane while I looked up at summer cumulus clouds blowing by Mt. Shasta, the mountain on the winds that day. I liked what I had written and likely showed it to my wife and put it away into a drawer. This was 1980. I might have either eventually pulled out a typewriter (It was 1980 and not many people had home computers and printers yet and I'm not sure I even knew much about Apple Computers yet or if they were even out yet). So, I eventually converted the paper bag to typewritten paper at some point. Then we moved down to the Northern California coast and I wrote about Elohar and Ragna and Lord Fire. From 1980 to about 1998 and 1999 I kept writing different pieces of what eventually became "Memories".

But then something really amazing happened, "I almost died from a heart virus the year I turned 50 in 1998 and 1999." While I prepared myself psychologically for my potential death I realized that everything I had written were lifetimes of myself and souls I knew in the past, present and future.

Before this time though I believed in reincarnation because I was taught to believe it as a child I didn't believe that one could incarnate in the future and then incarnate in the past. I thought it was all sequential like we live our lives. But, as I prepared for death I realized I had been wrong. There is a saying, "Whenever we assume too much we make an ass out of you and me." And I realized I had done this. Once I realized this I knew what I had written were all real past and future life memories that I had written down. Realizing this and having survived my heart virus and since most people I knew of who had it had died during that time, I felt God had forced me to retire and had blessed me with his Grace and that I needed to write to help anyone that could be helped by my writing in gratitude for my life being spared.

So, I compiled all my writings of past and future lives and added to these as I became aware of more. That is basically how the longer writings came through me since 1980. So, I first published "Memories' online around 1999 to 2000 or 2002. It was a long time ago now and on a different website. At dragonofcompassion.com at memories part 1 it says 2-12-02 so that might be when I first put it online after trying to edit it for some time.

I found out editing takes about 10 to 100 times as long as writing something. And because of this I don't tend to edit as much as I once did simply because I don't get paid for doing this. I do it because I am trying to honor God by writing. And also it gives me something to do to focus on and keep my mind focused and disciplined now that I am mostly retired. So, basically I have been mostly retired since I was forced to retire because of my heart virus in 1998 when I first went to the emergency room in the fall of 1998.

So, I don't know why you write if you do but since about 1980 this is why I write.

Can writing keep someone alive?

Maybe.

I decided as a young man in his 20s to become what is called a Householder Yogi. This means your spiritual discipline (carry water chop wood Zen type of thinking) is your family. By having this focus of taking care of your family it grounds a person in making sure they always find a way to support and take care of their family no matter what. So, taking care of my family has always been my spiritual discipline since my early 20s when I starting living with my first wife at 25 and we got married and had my son the next year.

So, though my discipline (Yoga) is still my family, writing as God inspires me to is another discipline on top of the family Yoga. And on top of that my other discipline is getting exercise. So, all these disciplines keep me going and healthy. Also, traveling the world with my family when I am able to is really great too. All these things create a balance in my life ongoing. It's not that we don't sometimes have problem (everyone does). It's just that when one has a good discipline and with a mate that is also an adult and makes good decisions life can be pretty good for everyone.

Compassion and Balance and discipline allow a life that is worth living.