Getting older is paradoxical

I'm 65 now and when I was 17 I decided to become enlightened. Not just spiritually but in every way I could think of that seemed useful to my survival and the ongoing survival of the human race. Since efficiency was the byword of my father's Swiss line that I can track easily back to near Zurich in 1580, my part of this line came to the U.S. in the 1720s up the Philadelphia River where the 6 brother settled and from then until now spread out through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Kansas and you name it. My great Grandfather was a Captain for the northern Army in the Civil War from Kansas, for example.

Anyway, getting older is paradoxical. On the one hand I find myself to be more fragile than when I was younger. I'm still the same person but things Physically might knock me down for longer even though I still tend to think of myself as indestructible as I have always been. Though I'm 6 foot 5 inches tall, I'm older now and depending whether I'm wearing glasses or not I have to watch my balance. For example, I have progressive aviator sunglasses for driving. But, if I actually tried to walk around wearing them I might fall down. So, I ONLY wear them for driving. I also have another pair for night driving (Non-sunglass) but mostly I wind up watching my wide screen 52 inch TV with them for the best visual clarity. But once again if I try to walk with them I might fall down because it throws my depth perception off for walking. So, if I'm going to walk I find I'm better off wearing only reading glasses or regular non-prescription glasses.

However, then there is the other side of all this. I tend to be completely fearless physically. And I am more this way than ever in some ways because I often care less and less what people think about me. This doesn't mean I'm not polite because I am. But I carry myself with my head held high with a fearlessness of a warrior ready for anything. I'm not preparing for a physical fight but I am a spiritual Warrior.

So, lately what is happening is people's auras often talk to me. This sounds like a strange thing to say. But people project a thought form. It can be something simple like "I'm horny". Or it can be sad like "I think I'm ugly". or it can be "I think I'm going to kill myself" or it can be " I'm think I'm really angry." The people who are enraged by the way are the scariest of these groups because often they are going to "Blow UP' on someone sooner or later and it won't be good when that happens.

So, I find myself at this age more masterful than I have ever been before as an intuitive and also as a spiritual practitioner. OFten I know what people are thinking or feeling and have to pretend I don't which goes with the territory if you are polite like the Tibetan Lamas taught me to be.

Also, when I first began to meet them they said to me, "You must protect others from gaining karma against you because it would be completely horrific for them." My answer was, "How would I do that?" They said something like, "You'll figure it out." And I did during my 30s. So, real mastery I think can begin during one's 30s. There might be a few who are "Natural Masters" who are precocious but mostly it can begin in one's 30s. My 20s were the worst part of my life so far. And this includes thinking I might die in 1998 and 1999 and worrying about a 10% chance of my dying this year from October 2012 to March 2013.  So yes. Growing older is paradoxical. ON the one hand you feel more frail at times and yet simultaneously you also seem to be more masterful. But, living with the mix is sort of laughable. So, be sure to laugh if you get over 50 or 60, it will keep you alive!