Living for Others

I have found that the people who survive their youths at some point or other learn to live for others rather than themselves. I have watched many people self destruct directly and indirectly because they tried to live selfish lives which cost them their lives in the end.

From age 15 to about 25 we are biologically predisposed to be selfish enough to create our own lives separate from our parents. So, if we don't separate from them in some way and establish our own lives and ideas then then often we don't ever.

But, if we don't somehow regroup after that in living our lives for lovers, friends, spouses, or even our parents and relatives often we don't survive until 30. I have seen this again and again even in myself.

I had an incredible amount of trouble surviving from 21 to 25. I had to be incredibly disciplined to stay alive during those years. I did it for my parents really. Because I had seen up close and personal what friends suicides had done to their families and friends. Often one suicide creates a cascade of suicides throughout a family or group of people. So, I could not be the one to create such an outcome among all the people I loved.

I found I could stay alive and not self destruct directly or indirectly by always  having a girlfriend who loved me around. For me, it wasn't about having someone to love, it was about having someone near to me that loved me in addition to my parents.

In the end that is what saved my life. I don't think I would have ever committed suicide in the usual way. I would have done it by driving my car off a cliff or falling while rock climbing, while riding a motorcycle too fast or by freezing to death in the wilderness while climbing a mountain. But, if you keep living on the edge death sometimes finds you when you least expect it.

Like the time my friends and I got caught by a blizzard on Mt. Shasta and we almost froze to death just trying to hike up from Bunny Flats to the Sierra Horse Camp Lodge (emergency shelter) on Mt. Shasta and instead we got into a white out and had to dig a snow cave or we would have died that evening. Every joint in my body hurt for 2 to 4 years so close to death we came from freezing to death that time.

So, learning to live your life for others (especially when you are over 25) is necessary for many to go on living their lives ongoing.