Because I was an only child often I didn't have peers (at least at home) to talk to about important things. It was the 1950s when (children were to be seen and not heard). So, the most important thing as a child was to show respect and not talk too much about personal stuff. Because our parents in the 1950s were taught to stuff almost anything which reduced the lifespans of many people who we watched die in the 1950s as children but often didn't understand what was really happening then. So, as I watched more and more people die (especially because of the religion I was raised in that didn't believe in Doctors) I became more and more pragmatic about self counseling and self parenting. So, I learned to counsel myself by writing down what was bothering me and later reading what I wrote and then often solving the problems bothering me.
When you are writing there is at least two people involved in what you are doing (yourself in the present as you write something) and (yourself in the future reading what you wrote).
Since we all grow up (if we live that long) to actually grow up I found this a survival tool for my own survival ongoing.
So, as time went on I wrote about relationships with friends and later regarding relationships with girlfriends. I wrote down arguments and near death experiences at school or on my bicycle or later in driving a car or motorcycle.
Like for example, in 1965 when I rented this motorcycle for this girlfriend and I, I was 17 years old and no helmet was required for my girlfriend or I.
I had always been a risk taker and this day was no exception. I decided to ride the motorcycle with my girlfriend up Angeles Crest Highway into the forests above Los Angeles of Ponderosa Pines.
However, coming down from there I got behind someone slow and decided to pass on a blind curve because of course I was riding a motorcycle and might survive doing this.
However, then a car came up the other direction on a two lane road and there was only about an inch or two distance between the two cars and myself.
My girlfriend didn't know we both had almost died and I had almost killed myself and the girl I had at that time planned to marry one day. I was so ashamed of what I had done I never told her about this then and I'm not sure I even talked about this to friends until maybe almost 10 years later because I was so ashamed I almost got us killed.
So, this was something I carried alone and punished myself for doing for a long time.
These are the kinds of situations where you need to write down what is going on and then read what you wrote later so you can survive these things.
Self Parenting works-
We all expected too much of ourselves then. We were supposed to be perfect then.
And no one ever is at any age.
MY father said it best:
"A miss is as good as a mile".
I was going to walk in front of a bus one day that I didn't see coming and he grabbed my shirt and pulled me back and the bus missed me by an inch or two going by fast.
This is when he said to me: "A miss is as good as a mile".
I agree.
IF you survived a near death experience let it go. Give it to God and move on.
By God's Grace
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